Things I Don't Do

This week I'm exploring my girliness, so I thought I'd make a list of all the things I don't do that maybe people think I should to be a self-sufficient person (because I'm anal meticulous like that).

I don't do cars. As in check oil or fluid or change tires.

I don't do taping - like around the edges when I paint.

I don't do yard work. At least not if I can help it.

I don't do grilling.

I don't fix things - like leaky pipes or clogged toilets or broken lights.

And I realize that some of you are reading this thinking "what a lightweight!!" or something similar, but let me explain..

I have 13 male cousins who all live in the greater Houston area and I only share them with 2 other girls (Amara doesn't count because she lives in Austin).

I have 4 Uncles.

Many guy friends.

Several incredibly capable girlfriends.

Perry - who likes to prove his manliness by doing shit around my house.

Alien - who is actually relatively handy.

Pa - who is a carpenter.

And Bean, who will do just about anything I ask him to.

So why the hell would I ever need to learn these things??

Yes, I realize that taping is ridiculously easy, but for some reason I do a craptastic job and everything I tape looks like shit. Plus it takes me years to tape a wall. So yeah, I could do it. Or - I could call Perry who does a much better job than I do in a quarter of the time.

Do you understand now??

It's not about being the helpless girl. Its about understanding my limits.

I know that I wouldn't do these things well, and I have many people around me who can do them better and faster and without breaking something - like their foot - so I leave these things to the experts, who almost all just happen to be men.

JJ & Yoda Make a Cake

Sunday me and my friend Aria (AKA Mrs. Superman) threw a shower for our good friend Cara.
First off let me tell you that Cara is the sweetest person ever and has been trying very hard to have a baby, so it had to be absolutely perfect.

So of course I went to Grandma Maude for the cake.

She made my wedding cake.



And also 10 and 6 years worth of perfect birthday cakes (including a 3D Pirate Ship that really was amazing).

This time she wanted to play with fondant, and she wanted me to help her.

I was actually really excited, because it kinda made me feel like I was going to work with Yoda. Only without the nasty ass swamp and and the X-Wing.

So Friday Bean & I packed up the kids and went over to Pa (AKA The Weiner Wrangler) and Maude's.

Maude and I rolled fondant, colored fondant and cut out polka dots in fondant. And while that doesn't really sound like alot of work, let me tell you - I was exhausted when we finally left at 11:00.

Maude and Pa were going to finish it all up for me, but Pa got tired, so Maud called me Saturday afternoon and asked if I could come over to help some more.

Obviously there was nothing I could say but yes, so I packed up the kids and headed back.

We rolled more fondant, and made a rainbow bow and put the fondant on the cake and then applied our bow and polka dots and I thought I was going to die.

We got it all done, and I'd post a picture but my computer is being a little bitch and won't let me. But it was adorable.

Fondant make look pretty, but its a bitch.

Happy Father's Day

To all you Fathers out there, Happy Father's Day. You have no idea how much influence you have on your children. Keep up the good work.

Normally this would be where I share a happy childhood memory of my father, but, my dad was a jackass. So instead of remembering him, I'll honor Pa, Oliver's grandfather who has adopted Tallulah, me & Bean.

Pa smokes and drinks and cusses. He likes to look at boobs and has taken Oliver to Hooters. He collects Easter Peeps and keeps them for years.
All of these things crack me up.

He can fix anything that's broken (even a spirit) and knows everything about everything. He cooks like nobody's business.

He's kind and generous and loving and strong, and he's someone that I wish had really been my father, and I'm so grateful to have been adopted by him.


He & Bean are kindred spirits, and I hope that Oliver & Tallulah know how lucky they are to have these two great men in their lives.