Missing Persons Report

You would not believe how difficult it is to file a missing persons report.

Even when your best friend is a police officer.

I may or may not have tried to file one on Aunt Crazy who has been missing from blogland since last Friday.

Me: Superman, I need to file a missing persons report.

Superman: You know that I don't normally handle those right?

Me: I know, but I'm special, and this is a special case, and it's very important. So you can help me, right??

Superman: I suppose I can at least take the information and point you in the right direction.. What's this about?

Me: Well, see, one of my favorite bloggers is missing.

Superman: ??

Me: Blogger, you know, someone who writes a blog?? Anyway, no one has heard from her in a week. That's long enough for a missing person report, right??

Superman: Umm, what's her name??

Me: Aunt Crazy.

Superman: Excuse me??

Me: Aunt Crazy.

Superman: Are you serious??

Me: Absolutely.

Superman: What does she look like??

Me: No idea.

Superman: Ok....... Ummm.. Where does she live??

Me: Texas

Superman: Jenn, Texas is a big state, could you be more specific??

Me: Not really. We're not big on specifics places in blogland. Maybe somewhere close to Houston, she likes the Astros.

Superman: (ahem..) Well, is there any other useful information you can give me??

Me: Sure!! She's married, and her husband's name is Uncle Bubba, and they have two children, but I don't remember their names.

Superman: Let me get this straight. You want me to put out an APB on a woman named "Aunt Crazy" who you have no physical description for who lives somewhere in Texas, possibly the greater Houston area, has been missing for an unspecified amount of time, and is married to a man named "Uncle Bubba", who, I assume you also cannot describe, and has two children who you cannot name or presumably describe??

Me: Yup. That sounds about right.

Superman: Yeah, I can't do that, Jenn. Sorry.

Oh Where Oh Where Has Aunt Crazy Gone????????????

Buckle on your shotguns, gather up the hounds. I'm about ready to round up the search parties!!

Where is Aunt Crazy?!?!?

I miss her!!

I'm worried about her!!!

And more importantly..

I'm BORED!!!!

*Seriously though, if any of y'all (Candance) are cool enough to have real means of communication with her (Candance) then could you maybe drop her a line to tell her that she's being thought of and missed (Candance) and worried about (Candance) and possibly added to some prayer lists and maybe even some missing persons reports with some very confused local authorities who tell me they cannot find anybody if the best I can tell them about their husband is that he answers to the moniker of "Uncle Bubba".