Bean Bean the Magical Fruit!!

I don't have very many male readers, so I don’t know that I’m going to get a good answer here, but maybe ya’ll have some new theories for me..

Why is it that Bean insists on telling me about gross bodily functions??

Like the other night he texted me saying how I was so glad he was at work and not at home because he had bad gas, and then last night he brought it up again only this time he elaborated and explained how 5 sprays of industrial strength air freshener did nothing, and the other guys in the office walked through the office next door to go the bathroom just so they didn’t have to walk through his stench.

Why did I need to know this??

Or

When he’s in the bathroom for 45 minutes and then comes out and says to me “you might want to use the kids’ bathroom tonight, because I just stunk up our bathroom.”

Because I couldn’t have deduced that??

I just don’t get it. I mean, we've only been married for 6 months - I feel like we’re still in the stage where it’s not okay for me to even burp in front of him. And I kind of feel like it should never be okay for me to fart in front of him if I can help it.

Hell, I wait for him to leave the house before taking care of any serious bathroom business, because that’s kind of gross and I really do feel like there are some things that just should not be shared.

Rack Application

So when a male boss decides he's going to hire someone, he gathers all the resumes together and he goes to interview the applicants and if all the applicants are also males then he chooses the best qualified applicant. But if one or more of them happens to be female then he chooses the best qualified applicant with the best looking rack, whether he knows that's what he's doing or not.

When a female boss decides she's going to hire someone, she gathers all the resumes together and interviews the applicants and then decides who out of the best qualified would be the best fit personality wise within the company regardless of what rack they do or do not have.


The problem with all of this is two pronged 1)as many women can attest, hot women know they are hot, and are drama prone and irritating and 2)unfortunately, most of us have male bosses, (or at least I've usually had male bosses). So the best way to counter the inherent stupidity of men in the "Rack Application Process" is to have a trustworthy female assistant who can look at the male boss and say "Really, her rack was not impressive enough to make up for the amount of drama she's going to cause in the office. Go with #3."


Obviously I have experience here. And fortunately after a bit of trial and a lot of error (and a whole lot of "I told you so" from me), my bosses finally decided to listen to me a little when it came to hiring someone new.


Last time it worked out awesome - they got Bean. We'll see if they like the guy I picked this time. Of course if he turns it down & they go with the one I wasn't sure about then I still have a little room to "I told you so", and then we all win.