F.B.I Update

I love my job.

On Thursday I sent an email to the over-achieving safety chic, it went something like this:

Dear Over-achieving Safety Chic,
We have an situation here that I feel needs to be brought to your attention. There are two very fishy barrels in our parking lot, that may contain explosives or possibly homeless midgets, we're not sure which. But either way I think that falls under your jurisdiction seeing as explosives are obviously very dangerous and homeless midgets could possibly also be dangerous.
Could you please take care of the F.B.I. as I really don't want to be blown up or accosted by homeless midgets. I've attached pictures.
Thank you.

She replied:
Dear Jenn,
I have some questions:

When did the barrels appear?

Where are they currently located?

Do they have any markings or labels?

Has anyone else been informed?

My response:
Dear Over-achieving Safety Chic,

About a week ago.

In the parking lot.

I have no idea, since I have not gotten close enough to see that. I made one of the guys take the pictures I sent to you.

Everyone in the office.

And then she sent an email to all the higher ups saying that they should probably have the building management take care of that. Somehow I don't think that she believes there are explosives or midgets in the barrels.

My Demise

I am totally going to die. You should absolutely not come have lunch with me or bring me flowers or visit me at work for any reason whatsoever. Really. Because someone left these really creepy barrels of something out in our parking lot.



I should now mention that our parking lot is right off a major freeway and so it's kind of a pain to get to so noone would think to themselves,


"Gee what a nifty place to store my creepy barrels!"


Oh, and we're also in just about the ghettoest place you can be in Houston without actually being in one of the wards and noone has stolen them, so they are too creepy even for the creeps.. Yeah.





Plus since all the really awesome people on the ship channel work in my building, it would be an fantastic terrorist target..


But I don't think that a terrorist put them there, I think that the creepy ex employee who came to work on his last day looking like he had a bomb strapped to his chest is the one who put them there..


He SAYS that it was a karate gui under his sweater, but I think he was just happy to see me..

Anyway.. I'm totally going to email these pictures to the over-achieving safety chic and tell her we have an F.B.I. and she should investigate it, and possibly call the other FBI, because those barrels could explode at any minute.