Vacation Part 6 - Bean’s Bossy and a Cigarette Thief

By the time we got home from the airport, I was really starting to contemplate whether childbirth was worse than the pain I was experiencing.

It was a really weird pain – kind of like I was seriously hungry.

I don’t really like hospitals, and thought that laying in my bed with a heating pad was the best idea ever, but Bean started making threats like – “If you don’t feel better soon, I’m taking you to the Emergency Room”.

That sounds like fun, right??

Anyway – I got to sleep with my heating pad. But in the morning, I did NOT feel like going to work.

So Bean got all bossy and made me go to the ER.

We were there for hours. Not in the waiting room – we got into an room right away, but it took most of the day where I was tortured tested before I got admitted.

They weren’t really sure what the deal was, because I have an IUD and you know, since it’s there obviously it could be a problem.

I spent 2 days laying in a bed waiting for a gynecologist to come in and consult because of that.

Though I did get A LOT of action while in the hospital. Three different people felt me up, and not one of them was my husband. I'm such a hussy.

The real problem was that I brought cigarettes, and the nurse said they couldn’t let me go smoke because it’s a non-smoking campus.

Whatever. As soon as they’d let me up to walk, I was finding somewhere to smoke.

Except that Bean took my fucking cigarettes with him to work.

So the next day I made him leave me some, and I got to smoke.

But on the third day he took my fucking lighter!!

Really?? Once, is an accident. Twice is not. I’m taking notes buddy. Just remember that you’re having surgery in January. Maybe you’re smokes will magically disappear.

I'm Back Again, Sortof

So I'm out of the hospital and home and back a little, but still not totally up to speed..
And all I've got to say about the whole hospital experience is, Ugh.

For starters, it took them 4 days to decide to take out my appendix, because I have an IUD and you know, since it's there it could definately be a problem. So I had to wait 2 days for a consult with an Ob/Gyn.

I got more action in the hospital than I did on my entire vacation - first from the 12 year old ER doctor, then from the itty bitty radiology tech and then from the gynecologist. Lovely.

Third, I had to search high and low in places where the little IV stand thingy didn't want to go in order to find the smoking area.

And last, but not least, the minute Mommy's home from the hospital, Mommy's home, and cleanup duties and puny daughter duties no longer fall into anyone else's job description.
Thank God for Miley coming to pick up Tallulah and her bitchy self so that Mommy didn't pull a stitch.

Anyway, I got a couple of a amusing pictures that I'll post in a couple of days. Thanks for all your well wishes.

vacation from my vacation

So, I'm all back from Colorado and whatnot. But I guess because I didn't die on the multiple planes, that means that I should have a medical emergency.

I'm in the hospital with appendicitis.

And I haven't eaten in something like 20 hours.

And the nurse is mad at me because I didn't remember the last time I pooped. (Apparantly you're supposed to write it down IN CASE of any abdominal pain)

And my roommate has a large family that are all visiting at the same time and babbling LOUDLY in Spanish.

And I NEED a fucking cigarette. BAD. I may kill a few nurses soon.