Commencement

It's time to get a little sappy and serious y'all. Sorry.

My cousin, Hero is about 5 years younger than I am, and she and I have a lot in common - we're both a little on the volatile side, we have similar ideas of how people should live (as in how often you should do the dishes and what it means to do laundry), we are both crazy loyal to our friends and love our family, and we both had a not so great childhood.

I think Hero would probably agree with the way I like to describe my childhood,

A lot of people had it worse, but it should have been better.

She moved in with us during high school, mostly because I was feeling pushy one day, and after high school she went to the community college nearby.

She was doing really well, working, going to class and not a whole lot of partying (which is unnatural, but, hey). And then she came up pregnant.

She moved back home with her dad and took her boyfriend with her and transfered everything to the Community College of BFE.

And had the most gorgeous daughter, Cassidy.

And you know, she's an amazing mother. She plays with her, takes good care of her, disciplines her. I have no idea where she learned it, because she certainly didn't have a good model growing up, but that girl is amazing.


Hero graduated with her bachelor's degree yesterday from Sam Houston State.


I want to say I'm proud of her, but for some reason that sounds condescending coming from me, little Ms. No Degree.

I think that it would be more accurate to say that I'm in awe of her.

She graduated from college in 5 years.

With a child.

While working. And paying bills. And putting up with bullshit.

We have other cousins and family members with college degrees, she's not the first. And I'm not belittling anyone who went to college, but Amara and Mrs. #2 didn't work through college at all. And #1, #2, and #3 may have worked through college, but they didn't have a child and they could have gone back home to the parents whenever they wanted.

Plus, there are people on every corner and in every walk of life who use childhood's like Hero had as excuses for being assholes, and for not being able to do anything productive, and I'm not sure that it even occurred to her that it's an option.

I'm in awe.

Also, I'm ashamed.

Of myself.

Because I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do it before my first marriage because I was an idiot. And I couldn't do it while I was married to Perry because he wouldn't have supported me and he truly made me feel like an imbecile, plus he would have seen an affair in every classroom.

And now, there's the bills and Bean's health and all these other things that make me feel like I shouldn't.

When I think that maybe the real issue is that I'm terrified I'll fail.

But Hero kind of makes me feel like I can. Not because if she can do it, then I can do it better, but because it makes me realize that the personality traits that she has that made it possible for her to finish, are traits that we share.

Impatience - we don't like to wait for someone else to do something, we'll just do it our selves.

Stubbornness - we will make it work this way dammit!!

So really, the only thing Hero's got on me is bravery, and that she has in spades.




I love you Hero and you are mine.

I've Got a Theory

And it’s not bunnies.




Actually, I have several theories.




One is about my new bloggy friend, Just Me.


See, I started getting comments from Just Me, and she was super nice. I mean her comments were so sweet, and funny and well thought out. It was like she knew me!! And I think I even followed her back to her blog and thought:

This is such a great blog!! Why am I not following this blog?!?! It’s just like a blog I would follow!!
As soon as I get home and on my real computer, I’m totally going to follow my nice new bloggy friend!!

And then my brain farted.


But this week I was organizing my gmail and making little labels for all the people that need labels, and I was sad.

Because my old bloggy friend, Christy, stopped commenting on my blog.



Did I piss her off??


Am I not funny anymore??


Did I not comment on her blog enough??


What happened??




So the next morning I went to her blog.


And you know what?? Just Me hijacked Christy's blog!!


So I sent Just Me a message. And you know what?? They're the same person. Christy still loves me.


Yes, I was born blonde.





Another one of my theories is that Miss Nikki and I would be best friends if we ever really met in person.


Actually, I think that Miley shares this theory with me.


We love Miss Nikki. We think she is the bees knees.


I think that if she came to Texas I might have to gently break it to her that I’m not a lesbian. Because she would love me THAT much.



Ok, maybe not that much.




But she would definitely not be going back to whatever not Texas place it is that she lives in.



Booby would just have move his ass to Texas with her.



Oh, and I agree with her that Booby and Bean would be best buds. But it kind of disturbs me, because both of their blog pseudonyms kindof sound like baby comfort items.. and together they really do, so maybe not.





My last theory is that a South Texas Blogger Party would be fun.


I’m totally ganking this idea from Bluzdude. He had a Darwinfishfry and posted pictures and it looked like a blast.


So my theory is that if we had a South Texas Blogger Party (only good God, someone has to come up with a better name than that) it would be a riot, almost literally, since I'm pretty sure that all the Texas blogs I read are written by at least sorta insane loud women.. so there might have to be a bond collection and some designated bail posters.


Except that I’m a mousy, quiet, annoying thing in person. Miley, however, she’s exactly like she is on her blog.

I Might be a Stalker.. Sorta

Ok, so I really hope that you guys are reading what I mean, not necessarily what I write, because otherwise I should just re-title this post:

“JJ’s a Psycho Stalker Beware!!”


I was reading Aunt Crazy’s post the other day about how she had to break up with her boyfriend and I realized that she is from somewhere in the vicinity of Houston.


Now for those of you not from Houston, that means that you live just about anywhere within a two hour driving distance from Houston and Houston is about an hour to an hour and a half drive across, so it means nothing. And my rational mind totally knows this.


But my not rational mind started screaming:

Oh my giddy AUNT!!!!!! Aunt Crazy lives close to me!!!!!!! I am SO cool by association!!!!! The Bloggess AND Aunt Crazy live in MY city!!!!! It has to be the COOLEST city EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And when I was done screaming about that I made my way over to Crazy Texas Mommy to see what she was up to.




And Holy Shit.




She’s coming to Houston to hang out with Aunt Crazy (because she is awesome enough to do that you know).




I thought my head was going to explode.




And I started feeling kind of like a celebrity stalker.

Only not in the “I’m-going-to-camp-outside-your-hotel-and-take-pictures-of-a-random-window-and-claim-its-yours” kind of way, but in the “Fucking-A-I’m-going-to-be-in-the-same-city-as-the-coolest-people-ever” kind of way.


And it started making me want to accost people on the street and tell them to stop littering and pull up their pants, because Aunt Crazy and Crazy Texas Mommy might see them, and they should look their best for Aunt Crazy and Crazy Texas Mommy!! But then I really started thinking about it, and decided I would be doing my bloggy friends a disservice, because Houston has a lot of really blog worthy stuff – like idiots with their pants around their ankles, and if I go around fixing it all, then that’s not fair, I wouldn’t want to deprive them of good blog material, so I’ll just leave everything alone, because I’m nice like that.


So yeah, I’m excited.


But, for the record, Candance and Aunt Crazy, I’m a total wimp in person, so even if I did recognize you on the street, there might be a little whispering to Bean (but no pointing, because that’s rude), and I might swoon, but that’s about it. I’m way too chicken shit to actually walk up and bother someone. So you can safely have a blast in my city with no worries about any crazies on the corner.*


*Ok, maybe not, because there’s a lot of crazies on the corner here, but none of them will be me, I promise.

2 Truths and a Lie

Tell me 2 truths and a lie and make me guess which is the lie. You've played this game before, so why not join The Scoop on Poop and CA Girl every Thursday by
1.Grabbing the handy little button on the sidebar
2.Posting your 2 truths and a lie
3.Link up
4.Reveal your lie the next week!

So last week, I told you that:

• With the exception of one, every man I've ever dated has proposed in some way or another.
  True - with the exception of Alien, Oliver's biological father, ever man/boy I have ever dated has at the very least talked marriage plans with at least moderate seriousness.
• Oliver is taking tap classes in the fall.
  Lie - Oliver is taking Hip Hop in the fall. Way to go Momma Bear, Kristy & whoever the hell anonymous is.
• I once toured Europe playing in a Band.
  True. But, it was a band consisting of french horns, trumpets and clarinets, not guitars, drums and keyboards. It was the summer after my senior year in high school and it was way cool.
  
  On to this week's list..
  
• I am 5'9".
• Bean is the 8th sex partner I've had.
• Stevie Ray Vaughn was my cousin.
  
  
  Take your guess, play along, and next week you'll see the answers!!
  

Life With Bean

Bean was home this weekend, and I actually had my phone ready to record all the Beanisms that happen, so I thought I'd share..

• I was reading Lazy to Lady and he was looking over my shoulder and suddenly yells out, "Are you looking at AK 47s so you can kill me?!?! ". You really have to actually look at her blog to see how funny this is, but really, it's pink and black and very girly, no AK 47s present.
• He then started trying to further distract me from my blog reading by telling me how he has trouble pronouncing words when he reads them for the first time. You know like Yo se might and Peeneylope instead of Yosemite and Penelope.
• If you're married to Lorena Bobbit yosemite be careful or you might get your peneloped.
• Yes, he actually said that.
• He also asked if I was going to blog about this.
• And then he huffed and puffed about me making fun of him for awhile.
• Then he said, "It's a good thing you have me around or you wouldn't have anything to blog about."
• Because you know, he has 3 knees.

Post-It Notes Tuesday

The Death of a Friend

I lost a dear friend today.

I met her a little over two years ago, and we had an instant connection.

She was way hotter than me, but it was ok, because she really preferred to be in the background, hidden.

She lifted me up when I felt droopy, made me feel so comfortable in her presence and I felt cool just knowing she was there.

I can probably count the days I went without her on one hand.

But today, she died.

I saw it coming.

There were signs.

I tried to find a replacement to no avail.

She's irreplaceable.

Noone will ever be able to make me look as good as she did while feeling as good as I did with her.





That's right people. We're talking about my favorite bra.