Friday, January 14, 2011

Guard Dog

Just a little tidbit for you. I'm babysitting for Cara's baby tonight.. Here's Rowlf guarding the baby's sleep.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I'm Just Sayin'

Let’s get a few things straight here:

1. I am not responsible for your actions.
So if I tell you that I am craving Mexican food so badly that it hurts, and you run out to get Mexican for me and in doing so spend money you didn’t have and bounce your rent check, it’s not my fault. You’re not a child. You can use logic and theoretically you can balance your checkbook. And there isn’t anyway that I could MAKE you do anything.

2. If you want to fight, I’m totally ready.

3. If you want a pity party, you came to the wrong girl.
I’ll pat you on the back and tell you it’s all going to be ok, but at some point, you just have to build a bridge.

4. If you did something stupid, to make a point that was completely ridiculous in the first place, I’ve got nothing.
Don’t put down your dog because I made a comment about how much it stinks and then try to run to me and cry about the damn dog. You should have just washed it, and then everyone would be happy.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

And DONE!!


I'm free!! Like a bird, or the wind or some other free thing!!

Yesterday was Mom's 60th birthday party, and with that, my season of craziness is over!!

Let me explain this to you guys (I may have already, but you know my mind is slipping)..

September -
My Great Aunt's 90somethingth birthday in Ft. Worth

October -
Tallulah's Birthday
Mrs. #2's Baby shower
Halloween Party

November -
Bean's Birthday

December -
Me & Bean's Anniversary (1 year baby!!)
Oliver's Birthday
Mrs. #2's Cousin's Graduation Party (yeah, don't ask)

January -
New Years' and Drive to Fucking Iowa
Mom's Birthday

And while that's only 2 things (or so) a month, keep in mind that I only have the kids 2 weekends a month and all of those things required planning, shopping and preparing for. Plus, I'm still insanely tired (which is a completely different rant).

So, yeah, I'm done and I'm thrilled that there is nothing family-wise that I have to plan until October.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Iowa Sucks Ass 2

I'm still trying to remember my blogging habits, and from what I recall I do nothing special on Wednesdays (phew!!).

So I'll explain my post-its from yesterday..

Connie is my cousin. But recently she and I have been discussing how much more we are like sisters than anything else. And I think this last weekend, I proved it. Totally.

First off, I almost literally haven't seen Bean in 2 weeks. He's been working overtime and on every day that he was off, I had something I had to do.

But Connie had to pick up her kids from their Christmas break with their douchecanoe dad in Iowa.

See, when Connie and Dickwhistle got a divorce, he moved there, with no job lined up and no place to live except with his new girlfriend (a woman he had known before but hadn't seen in at least 5 years).

And in the divorce papers (where he screwed Connie royally) it says she has to bring the kids all the way to Iowa every other year for Christmas, and he has to come all the way here to get them and bring them back every summer.

On the way up, he met Connie in Kansas, mostly I think because he wanted something from her and she gave him gas money. But on the way back, he called at 11:30 on Friday to say he couldn't do that because his girlfriend couldn't find a babysitter for her kid and he didn't want to go without her and they wouldn't all fit in the car.

Now, I respect that. Noone wants to drive 18 hours roundtrip by themselves. But that was his piss-poor planning.

So I called him, since he and Connie were just screaming at each other, and he said he'd try to meet us at the Iowa/Missouri border.

Awesome. That knocks our 36 hour trip down to 31 hours.

Then Saturday when we're in Kansas he finds out that Connie didn't send him gas money. (Which looking at it now, she's glad she didn't do since he didn't drive anywhere and wouldn't have given it back.) So he says he can't go anywhere, because he just spent $2000 on the kids for Christmas and doesn't have it.

Bullshit. If you just spent $2000 on Christmas, you have $40. I even offered to split it with him and still no.

So we drove. And we drove and we drove.

I ended up being in the car for 41 hours once you add in my drive home from Connie's.

The kids were actually amazingly good, Connie and I were just so very tired it was unreal.

And we both had to work Monday.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Iowa Sucks Ass

I am so exhausted, so I's glad it's Tuesday, because if memory serves, that means Post-its!!

Only Parent Chronicles

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Enough of that Sappy Shit

Now that you got a post all sappy and heartfelt and shit, it's time to put away the tissues and get back to work.

Bean and I don't do New Years Resolutions. But, here's my list of things that would be fucking awesome to have happen in 2011.

  • Win the lottery. Obviously.
  • Take the kids to Colorado. Preferably with Bean.
  • Keep Oliver from being bullied to badly at school.
  • Potty train the damn rat dog bitch.
  • Let the damn rat dog bitch have some puppies.
  • Sell said puppies.
  • Get decorations for my bathroom Christmas tree.
  • Boycott Science Fair.
  • Get a new damn job (or at least a new boss).
  • Conquer the world (in Civilization).
  • Get a computer that actually works.
  • Get a laptop that noone else is allowed to touch, so that I have somewhere to put my porn collection.
  • Pay off my brand new paper credit card.
  • Buy Christmas/Birthday presents in advance.
  • Have a fucking amazing not 30th birthday party.
  • Educate Bean on which Holidays are important to me, and which ones I don't give a rat dogs ass about.

    But mostly, just try to enjoy life a little more.