Quietly Mad

In case you hadn't noticed, I have been a bit overwhelmed lately and my blog has suffered, and suffered and suffered some more.

Most of it is because I'm just too damn busy to blog, but soon that should fix itself.

But it's also been because I'm tired: of doctors, of family, of drama and of Bean being sick. So really I had nothing even remotely amusing or snarky, or even worthwhile to say.

But I've fixed half of that problem.

For those who are interested, I've started a new blog, Jennifer Juniper Goes Quietly Mad. There isn't much there as of yet, but after the night I just had, there should be more very soon.

The Twilight Zone

The thing that sucks about being gone so long from the blogging world (besides the obvious) is that shit changes. And when you're gone you have no idea what the fuck is going on..

I went to all of my favorite peoples blogs today and most of them look completely different. I feel like I'm in the fucking twilight zone. Where are the layouts I remember?? It's so sad.

And since my memory is like a colander (or maybe even a funnel) it makes me wonder "is this the blog I think it is?? Maybe I went to the wrong blog thinking it was Christy's, maybe this is really Stephanie's blog and oh fuck. What if I have their names totally wrong!!"

Someone please remind me of these troubles if I ever decide to go on hiatis again.

And by the way. Blogging at work is freaking awesome.

To Blog or Day 5 of Back to Blogging

Today is the last day for SITS and Back to Blogging because of which I will win Thelma and Louise - the washer and dryer from Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances

Today: What blogging means to me.

I blog so that I can be myself.

Everyone has a public side to them and a private side to them. Or at least they have a bit of censoring involved in their every day lives.

Obviously I can be myself all I want with Bean, and with a few of my friends. But for the most part everyone sees me as pretty sensible and for the most part normal. They don't know that I argue with myself talk to myself or that sometimes I have mild hallucinations or that I get crazy ass ideas stuck in my head.

So I love that here I can let loose everything.

The Outing of Jennifer Juniper

I promised this story to Aunt Crazy when she complained about not being able to email replies to my comments.

I could also have titled this:

"Shit You May Have To Go Through If You Want To Be My Friend"

Here you go Aunt Crazy. Just for you because I love you that much.

And also because it's amusing as hell. If you're not me at the time.

I took Oliver to the doctor a few weeks ago for some chest pains he was having (he's fine - it was a bruise, nothing cardiac) and while we were in the waiting room I decided to catch up on my family blog reading, since they had actually posted which they never do.

There were some pictures of a recent home improvement project over at #2's house and I went to comment about how cute it was, typed in my hotmail address and password and..

*GASP*

Jennifer Juniper popped up as the Google ID.

delete delete delete!!!!

You cannot open a popup window because you already have one open

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck.

What to do?

What to do??

What the fuck am I going to fucking do??

Diva Chels is at work. No computer.

Cara & Connie are blogger illiterate.

Fuck me.

Fuck me running with a sword.

I know you guys don't know #2 and Mrs. #2, but they're great. I love them to pieces.

However.

Mrs. #2 is more neurotic than I am (yeah, I know you didn't think that was possible), and her mother, who is one of my favorite aunts (from the other side of the family - it's complicated) sees conditions and problems where they aren't. Plus, Mrs. #2 is so innocent that I think I'd probably shock her with my blunt and snarkey ways.

#2 is as mellow as they come, and really kind of accepts me for who I am, but he's gotten close to Amara recently, and I don't think he really wants to hear me bash her like I do. And his parents, who I bow down in awe of, and adore, are almost too conservative to function, and hate it when I say "darn" in their presence.

So you can see why I wouldn't really want them as readers as much as I love them. If this shit got out, there'd be a big ole' come to Jesus family meeting and JJ would be one pissed off camper.

Also keep in mind that Amara, my bitch of a sister, with the lazer beam eyes and the nails of steal and the heart of stone was the comment right before mine.

Where was I??

Oh yeah.

Fuck me running with a multi-twigged branch.

Miley.

Miley's unemployed.

Miley's TOTALLY blogger literate.



Me: Are you at home?

Miley: Yes.

Me: I'm fucked.

Miley: eh?

Me: insert the whole explanation that I already gave you guys

Miley: ookay..

Me: So can you go log in and delete my comment??

Miley: Oh, yeah, no problem, what's your password?

Me: insert me telling Miley my ridiculously long and hacker-proof password

Miley sheesh, woman.. ok, I'll take care of it.


So I breathed a small sigh of relief.

Then I realized.

When someone posts a comment on my blog, I get an email.

And in that email, if I click on their name, it goes to their profile.

That's when the text messages started flying.



Miley: Done.

Me: Does it say who deleted the comment??

Miley: Nope - I went back and checked.

Me: God I hope he doesn't have it set up to email him about comments but it probably does and then I'm totally fucked!!

Miley: Nah you'd be ok. I think. I'll tell you what it looks like, I don't think there's a link to a site.

Me: But it says who left the comment and they might go digging.

Me: Does it have their profile pic??

Miley: Eh go change your user name real quick?

Me: I'm all fucking paranoid now!!

Miley: Calm down hon.

Miley: No pic.

Me: No. I'm not going to let nosy family members make me change my blog stuff.

There was more. But mostly it boiled down to us deciding that there was indeed a link in the emails and Miley agreeing to go take down all the identifying information from my profile and making it private for awhile so that at least they wouldn't be able to follow it back to link up to the blog. Because while I can do that from my phone, it's a pain in the ass.

And that, my dear Aunt Crazy is why you couldn't reply via email to my comments, but no longer, my profile is back for your viewing pleasure and reply to your heart's content.



By the way, I saw #2 this weekend and he did get the email, did know it was from me, and said he doesn't care, and insinuated that he'll keep Mrs. #2 off my back. We'll see.

Either way, I've decided that I don't care. If the family wants to come and read the blog that I didn't tell them about, that I don't particularly want them to read, then let them.

Maybe we'll weed out some of the dickwhistles, fucktards and douchecanoes and then at least my Christmas list will be shorter.

100 and Still Blogging

Wow.. 100 posts. That's crazy. Normally I have the attention span of two year old with a giant pixie stick. So having stuck with something this long and still be enthralled is a huge accomplishment for me.

I started this blog just after Bean and I got married and I finally had positive things to say.
I wanted to be able to let loose myself - the crazy person that I normally edit from my family who really thinks that normal is the only way to go.

Along the way you found out why I'm crazy.

You shared my work place troubles.

There were courtside seats to me and Bean's fights.

And bedside seats to some of my migraines.

You've laughed at my insecurities.

And you've heard about my television watching tastes.

I've ranted and I've been neurotic.

I've been hysterical and I've been sentimental.

And I'm having a blast.

Thanks guys, for reading and for commenting and for just being.

Might as Well Face it I’m Addicted to Blog

Bean started telling me last week that I was getting addicted to blogging, and I’m sorry to say that he may be right..

So being the anal person that I am, I made a checklist.

You might be addicted to blogging if:

You try to call people by their blog pseudonyms.

You cannot go to the bathroom without your phone because someone might comment while you’re gone.

You keep a notebook handy at all times in case someone supplies you with blog fodder.

You read your comments during sex.*

Your in-laws, who are remarkably unobservant know there’s something up having to do with a blog.

Your husband makes statements like “do NOT blog about this”.


*I have not actually done this one, and I’m pretty sure that Bean would draw the line there, or at least I hope he would.

I Get It!! Finally.

This week I have been way more blog-centric than usual.. Normally I post up my schtick and then wait until I have something else to say however many days later, and then I read my comments (which to be honest have for the most part until this week been from people I actually know..). Consequently I have learned so many things about blogging that I did not know before.

Like all these cool things that have convinced me that I’m totally in love.

1. Friday Follows – LOOOVE them!! That shit keeps me busy at work for hours !! I like the whole new people following me and stuff, but really it’s about keeping me from being bored and it rocks my socks off!!
2. You can pre-post shit!! Did you know that?!?! It’s the coolest thing EVER!! It means that all the random ass shit I write at work I can take home & pre-post to show up on my blog later in the week & then I’m looking all kinds of productive!!
   ( everything is blocked at work, and my phone really doesn’t like to post shit – it’s way too smart/cool/kickass for that, or maybe I’m just not smart enough to figure out how to do it. So I write stuff and save it and post it when I get home..)
   
3. Bloggy people are so nice. Actually, it’s probably more like the people who don’t like you silently lurk, or at least that’s what I do, I’m not going to post a comment on someone’s blog saying “You sound like a total dickwhistle and I’m never coming back to your sucky blog again!!”, and I’ve never had a comment like that posted on mine. So bloggy people are nice. I like them.
   
4. I’m not the only one with a split on-line personality. Several people that I follow admit to having a “normal” blog and a “crazy” blog. I like that, it makes me feel less sneaky.
   
5. Closely related to 4 but just a little different - Reading about people who are almost as crazy as me makes me feel warm & fuzzy. And the plethora of them supports my theory that everyone is a little crazy, but no one but me, Bean & Miley like to admit it.
   
6. The guys at work also like the blogs I do, and if I read an entry out loud to them, it’s good for at least a 30 minute conversation.
   
7. Blogging and blog reading from my computer is WAY easier than doing it from my phone.
   

Of course, not everything was good, but obviously, since I’m still here, they weren’t that bad.

1. When I follow more than 3 blogs I have one hell of a time trying to keep shit straight.
   
2. Bean thinks the Bloggess sounds like me. And at first I was insanely flattered that he thought I was that awesome, but then, after he said he couldn’t read her because he can’t keep up with his own randomness much less hers, I realized it’s not that he thinks I’m that awesome, it’s that he thinks I’m that random. Fuck. So much for my self-esteem.
   
3. Mom is the nosiest person EVER!! I was typing up an entry for later and she passed through to make her dinner and was all “Whatcha doin??” and I said “Blogging” and I had minimized it, so she was all “What you don’t want me to see what you’re writing??” and I’m all “No, not particularly”. So she huffed away and said “That’s ok, I’ll just read your blog later. Unless it’s a secret blog…..”
   WTF?? I’m 29 fucking years old. It’s not a “secret” blog, it’s a “NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” blog.
   Grr. This is why I have two blogs and thank my fucking lucky stars that my mother is not computer savvy.
   I need an incognito picture. Maybe Miley will help.
   
4. Blogging all day long sucks my phone battery like a porn star.
   

There are still some things that confuse the shit out of me, though.

1. What the hell are memes and all those other weird blog words (that I can’t think of now that I’m trying to ask about them)??
   
2. Do I have an email address??
   
3. Am I supposed to have an email address??
4. How the hell do I make this numbering thing look right?!?!