Missing Persons Report

You would not believe how difficult it is to file a missing persons report.

Even when your best friend is a police officer.

I may or may not have tried to file one on Aunt Crazy who has been missing from blogland since last Friday.

Me: Superman, I need to file a missing persons report.

Superman: You know that I don't normally handle those right?

Me: I know, but I'm special, and this is a special case, and it's very important. So you can help me, right??

Superman: I suppose I can at least take the information and point you in the right direction.. What's this about?

Me: Well, see, one of my favorite bloggers is missing.

Superman: ??

Me: Blogger, you know, someone who writes a blog?? Anyway, no one has heard from her in a week. That's long enough for a missing person report, right??

Superman: Umm, what's her name??

Me: Aunt Crazy.

Superman: Excuse me??

Me: Aunt Crazy.

Superman: Are you serious??

Me: Absolutely.

Superman: What does she look like??

Me: No idea.

Superman: Ok....... Ummm.. Where does she live??

Me: Texas

Superman: Jenn, Texas is a big state, could you be more specific??

Me: Not really. We're not big on specifics places in blogland. Maybe somewhere close to Houston, she likes the Astros.

Superman: (ahem..) Well, is there any other useful information you can give me??

Me: Sure!! She's married, and her husband's name is Uncle Bubba, and they have two children, but I don't remember their names.

Superman: Let me get this straight. You want me to put out an APB on a woman named "Aunt Crazy" who you have no physical description for who lives somewhere in Texas, possibly the greater Houston area, has been missing for an unspecified amount of time, and is married to a man named "Uncle Bubba", who, I assume you also cannot describe, and has two children who you cannot name or presumably describe??

Me: Yup. That sounds about right.

Superman: Yeah, I can't do that, Jenn. Sorry.

Oh Where Oh Where Has Aunt Crazy Gone????????????

Buckle on your shotguns, gather up the hounds. I'm about ready to round up the search parties!!

Where is Aunt Crazy?!?!?

I miss her!!

I'm worried about her!!!

And more importantly..

I'm BORED!!!!

*Seriously though, if any of y'all (Candance) are cool enough to have real means of communication with her (Candance) then could you maybe drop her a line to tell her that she's being thought of and missed (Candance) and worried about (Candance) and possibly added to some prayer lists and maybe even some missing persons reports with some very confused local authorities who tell me they cannot find anybody if the best I can tell them about their husband is that he answers to the moniker of "Uncle Bubba".

Home Wrecker

I routinely hack my mother's Facebook mostly to send myself Farmville gifts. But today there was a posting from someone that caught my eye. It was on an article they had read on infidelity and Facebook and how it made them want to pare down their friends list to girlfriends and family only (obviously posted by a woman). Here's the article.


I don't disagree with most of the article - people cheat, we know this, and the internet is a cheater's playground. The part that got me was how you should set up safeguards for talking to any non-related member of the opposite sex to prevent anything ever becoming an issue.


I've got a problem with that. It's like you're going into it saying "I don't trust that you can control yourself if you instant message a woman, so I'm not allowing it." Really?? Because if you can't trust your husband to TALK to another woman then I really don't think that your biggest problem is IF he's going to cheat on you. It's more like WHEN. Because either your suspicions are totally founded and he's a cheating jerk (in which case why did you marry him?!?!) or you're going to drive him to cheat with your constant accusations and lack of trust!!


Sorry. Bean has friends who are women, and I wouldn't choose to be friends with all of them, because some of them are grumpy irritating loud mouths, but they're his friends, not mine. And my best friend is a man (who he likes, because my taste is awesome and my friends are WAY cooler than his) and I have other guy friends that he's only briefly met and he's still ok with. But he can go out (or instant message) with Little Ms. Irritating or Mrs. Loves Dogs without me whenever & I can go out (or text) with Superman or Peter Parker whenever I want all by myself without a chaperone. And we're ok with that, because we trust each other.


What a novel concept.