Monday, May 2, 2011

Fuck Prince Charming, I Want Dracula

I have been on the vampire bandwagon long before "Twilight" happened.

I read Anne Rice and even liked the original "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" (which was pretty horrible).
So I'm not ashamed (much) to admit that I do like "Twilight". Yes, Bella is annoying as fuck, but the vampires are hot (even if they do look 17, so it's a little creepy to think that if you're not) and as far as teen angsty books go, its not bad. And the movies are not too horrible (at least if you're able to laugh at the ridiculousness of the whole thing).

Up until this weekend "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" (tv series, not movie) was my absolute favorite.

What can possibly be more hilarious than a show that is completely ridiculous and knows it?? There's even a musical episode that makes me laugh every time I see it, and I have the words memorized - all of them.

And then I found "True Blood".

I'm actually still on the fence about the campy factor.

None of the vampires use contractions, and that is one of the most distracting ways of speaking I've ever heard. And the way they do it is worse than Data from "Star Trek", probably because I haven't figured out if the lack of contractions is supposed to signify how old they are or if it's because they're old southern vampires.. (which of course makes no fucking sense, because everyone knows southerners make up their own damn contractions).

And holy fuck.. I thought Bella was a damsel in distress addict. She has absolutely nothing on Sookie. That girl needs an intervention, and then drugs, and meetings, and possibly a padded cell not to mention a good healthy dose of self-esteem and a karate class.


The vampires are hot. I mean really hot. I would totally be a fangbanger if they all looked like Alexander Skarsgard (that is, if vampires were real and everything).

So, yes, I'm addicted. And have found my future ex-husband. And though Bean hasn't actually seen the show yet, I think he won't mind, because he's secure enough in his manhood to admit that is one beautiful man.

We may have gotten HBO for "A Game of Thrones", but I will be setting my DVR to record "The Alexander Skarsgard Naked Show".


bluzdude said...

I just started watching TB during the last season. I've been meaning to beg/borrow/steal the first couple seasons on DVD.

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