Saturday, April 30, 2011

Shit I Did When I Wasn't Blogging

I'm not actually going to list all the shit I did when I wasn't blogging because that would take a long ass time.

But I am going to explain to you how my mother works.

If you think really hard, you'll remember that we had some work done on the house. I'm not sure that I posted how all of this happened..

The way all of this came about started about 2 years ago when I looked at my mother and said - "Damn I hate this paneling, it would be really nice to get it taken down."

Then about a year ago, she and I had at least 3 extended discussions on how we should get tile in the front part of the house, because the carpet literally looked like shit.

And about 6 months ago, I mentioned to her how I'd like to get rid of the goofy little brick half-wall between the breakfast nook and the living room because really all it was good for was collecting random ass things as people walk in the back door.

But she never said anything about calling a contractor.

In fact I mentioned to her that while the kids and I were gone for Spring Break would have been the perfect opportunity to have the floors done since it would be just her and Bean home.

So we got home from Spring Break and no work had been done on the house. Not that I was actually surprised..

Then, on March 21st just before I went to bed she says:

"They're coming tomorrow to take down the paneling."

Excuse me?? Who is "They"?? How long have you known this??


And then I talked to her on the 22nd and she tells me:

"You forgot to clear off the kitchen table so I had to do ALL of that myself."

I'm sorry. I have an actual day job.. my bad.

So that night (because I'm that kind of a passive-aggressive person when it comes to Mom) I really cleaned off the kitchen table (because she just stacked shit on top of it and moved it over), moved it to the dining room, moved all the other furniture to the office, unloaded the china cabinet and took all the pictures off the walls. And made dinner for the kids.

The following weekend I painted.

Because Mom really had no idea when they were coming back to do the tile.

I didn't finish, so the next weekend, I painted again.

On Monday night (April 4th) Mom tells me that they're coming back on Tuesday (April 5th) to start the tile. And that she's already asked my cousin, Number 5 to come over and help me move shit out of the way.

So after busting my ass all weekend painting, and going to work on Monday, I came home and boxed up everything breakable, completely unhooked all the computers, cleaned off every surface that wasn't nailed down, and lined it up so that Number 5 could move it all to the garage.

It took me 3 days to be able to move without wincing.

They finished the floors on something like the 16th. And I still haven't fully recovered..

Plus, on the 13th, Tallulah's dog, Harriet, had puppies - 7 of them. So if anyone wants a little rat wiener dog of their very own, I have 2 girls left.

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