Saturday, April 3, 2010

UnWrapped and Bill Nye the Food Guy or I’m so gonna write Food Network


We watch TV to go to sleep. Before we got married I had this (surprise) fairly insane habit of watching one DVD on repeat for a month (or three) and then switching it out. But Bean likes food network. And that’s cool, I like food.
But there’s this one guy that I hate, I mean I absolutely abhor him. He makes my teeth hurt.

I don’t know what his name is or what his show’s called. I call him Bill Nye the Food Guy. He needs to come on at three in the afternoon as an educational program, or at three in the morning when I’m asleep. But instead he comes on when I want to go to sleep no matter when it is.

He’s always explaining the science behind cooking.

WHO CARES?!?!

Thus the name. He bothers me.
But what bothers me more is that he’s always right before the show I really like going to sleep to – Unwrapped.
It’s perfect!! It’s entertaining enough that if I can’t sleep I can watch it, but it’s not manic so it doesn’t keep me from sleeping (like Iron Chef, which doesn’t bother me, but does keep me from sleeping). I love it!! Plus it’s got the Double Dare guy on it, so it makes me happy.

Bean thinks I’m funny for liking it so much.

Me: Where’s Unwrapped??

Bean: It’s not on.

Me: Why not?!?!

Bean: Because it doesn’t come on tonight.

Me: Why not?!?!

Bean: Because it just doesn’t, it comes on tomorrow.

Me: Well, what’s on??

Bean: Iron Chef.

Me: But that’s not Unwrapped.

Bean: No.

Me: Why not?!?!

Bean: Because it’s Iron Chef.

Me: I’m going to write a letter to Food Network.

Bean: Saying what?

Me: That they need to put Unwrapped on every night from 9:00 – 2:00.

Bean: And what reason are you going to give them?

Me: So I can go to sleep to it. Obviously.

Bean: I’m not sure they’re going to go for that, Honey.

Me: Why not?!?!

Bean: Because they just won’t.

Me: But they have to.

Bean: They don’t really just move shows for one person.

Me: Why not?!?

Bean: Because.

Me: But their schedule doesn’t work for me it’s wonky!!

Bean: I know.

Me: I NEED them to move it!!

Bean: But they won’t.

Me: Why not?!?!

Bean: They need better reasons than that. Like ratings, and money.

Me: But Unwrapped is awesome!!

Bean: I know Baby, but it doesn’t really work that way.

Me: AND!! I need my sleep!! HAH!!

Bean: .....

Me: OOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Maybe I can tell them to move Bill Nye the food guy to 4:00 AM while I’m at so I NEVER have to see him again!!!!!!!!!!!

Bean: Look honey, there he is on Iron Chef.

Me: Grrrrrrrr..

3 comments:

Kristy said...

His name is Alton Brown and he rocks!!! I love the show where he shows you how to make things (ex:omlets). He is also cool on iron chef - - he always tells you what they are using (which is good since I can't identify 20 different types of cabbage). I am a food network junkie.

If I could cook.....I would enter those ultimate recipe showdowns and make thousands of dollars.

Jenn said...

Ugh.. no!! He's the most annoying person on the planet.. I can't believe you like him!!

woman:confused said...

kristy would be defriended on facebook if she had ever been on there in the first place - and if I hadn't deactivated it.
He kills me. He makes me wanna hurl. My mom LOVES him. Blegh.