Sunday, August 15, 2010

Missing Persons Report

You would not believe how difficult it is to file a missing persons report.

Even when your best friend is a police officer.

I may or may not have tried to file one on Aunt Crazy who has been missing from blogland since last Friday.

Me: Superman, I need to file a missing persons report.

Superman: You know that I don't normally handle those right?

Me: I know, but I'm special, and this is a special case, and it's very important. So you can help me, right??

Superman: I suppose I can at least take the information and point you in the right direction.. What's this about?

Me: Well, see, one of my favorite bloggers is missing.

Superman: ??

Me: Blogger, you know, someone who writes a blog?? Anyway, no one has heard from her in a week. That's long enough for a missing person report, right??

Superman: Umm, what's her name??

Me: Aunt Crazy.

Superman: Excuse me??

Me: Aunt Crazy.

Superman: Are you serious??

Me: Absolutely.

Superman: What does she look like??

Me: No idea.

Superman: Ok....... Ummm.. Where does she live??

Me: Texas

Superman: Jenn, Texas is a big state, could you be more specific??

Me: Not really. We're not big on specifics places in blogland. Maybe somewhere close to Houston, she likes the Astros.

Superman: (ahem..) Well, is there any other useful information you can give me??

Me: Sure!! She's married, and her husband's name is Uncle Bubba, and they have two children, but I don't remember their names.

Superman: Let me get this straight. You want me to put out an APB on a woman named "Aunt Crazy" who you have no physical description for who lives somewhere in Texas, possibly the greater Houston area, has been missing for an unspecified amount of time, and is married to a man named "Uncle Bubba", who, I assume you also cannot describe, and has two children who you cannot name or presumably describe??

Me: Yup. That sounds about right.

Superman: Yeah, I can't do that, Jenn. Sorry.

16 comments:

Christy said...

LOL! It just makes us realize we may be getting a little too involved with our blogging life. I know I am. :)

Christy said...

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

woman:confused said...

Wait, you went to superman?! SERIOUSLY?! You are supposed to call me before going to superman...
Plus, I don't feel nice towards superman LOL

Daisygirl said...

haha....if you really did that you are crazy girl! Love it!!!!

bluzdude said...

Don't you hate it when The Authorities are so unhelpful?

Sara said...

This sounds similar to when my mom asked me what I wanted for dinner and I told her, very specifically I might add, that I wanted that one really good thing from the restaurant we visited last year where they have the bread.

Not only did she not know what I was talking about but she seemed to have no interest in figuring it out!

Some people, right?

Miss Nikki said...

I think we should ALL give Jennifer info on ourselves so if and when we go missing she can take care of our rescue. If I ever get lost, just tell the cops you've lost some crazy chick with pink boots holding a wrench and smiling like a big goofball all the time. Oh, and that I may be seen near a racetrack somewhere on the continental US. Thanks!

p.s. I'm counting on you!

Candance said...

You are too funny!

-MissC* said...

lol I have often thought about how that conversation would go if someone I read regularly went MIA.
I wanted to share a blog with you that I think you might enjoy!
naughtylips.blogspot.com
It's pretty hot! Thought you might enjoy it!

woman:confused said...

Nikki, good plan. We've decided you're really danica patrick, so that whole "go daddy girl" thing shouldn't be too hard to find you.

Me, on the other hand... if I go missing... superman won't help her find me either and he KNOWS what I look like!

Jennifer Juniper said...

Nikki - if you went missinf Miley & I would panic. We would make Superman pay attention, even though I'm not sure he could do anything seeing as your not a Texan (just one more reason for you to move), and then we just might start harassing random racing people to find out who kidnapped you. We'd be destitute.

And unfortunately, Miley's right. As super as Superman as is, I can here the snide comment now if I told him she was missing.

KLZ said...

It's funny how we can know so much about people we know nothing about. Love it.

Marlene said...

LOVED this post! One of your funniest, yet!

Aunt Crazy said...

OH MY HELL...no you didn't...LMFAO

Aunt Crazy said...

Aunt Crazy would love it if you would put an email with your name when you leave her comments on her blog, so that she can email you back. Let's say that if one Jennifer Juniper were to correct that "no-reply-comment" that is supposed to be an email address, Aunt Crazy may be so inclined to email JJ the cell phone number of one MIA Aunt Crazy so that one JJ could text her when she's worried...

The Queen said...

I'm checking all the links out from her returning post. I am laughing til tears roll. We put our niece on a milk carton once and posted it all over the net. made her come back to blogging.