Monday, January 25, 2010

Jennese 101

I feel sometimes like maybe people don't understand me. Which is why I think that maybe I don't speak English, I think maybe I speak Jennese.

Like when I say to my mother:

I think I'd like to lose some weight.

I think I'm saying:

So don't buy a bunch of really yummy stuff that I'm going to want to eat at the grocery store & put it in my fridge, put it in your fridge.

But what I think she hears is:

Jenn's on a diet & she won't eat anything I buy so she's going to go grocery shopping on her own.

Or when I say to my kid's:

We're in a hurry.

I think I'm saying:

We need to go. NOW.

But I think they hear:

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Or when I said to Bean:

I want to get another dog.

I thought I said:

I want to get a REAL dog, you know one that comes up to your knee or higher.

But I'm pretty sure that he heard:

I think I'd like a dachshund. (especially since we now have a dachshund)

Which is why it's so nice to have someone like my friend Miley around. Because she is fluent in Jennese. I never have to translate for her. I can send her some obscure email or text and she gets it.

Today I set her an email, because I read this headline:

Child Modeling: Apalling or Awesome?

only I didn't read "Child Modeling" I read "Child Molesting". But I didn't have to explain it to Miley, she totally got it, because she's an expert in Jennese.


woman:confused said...

it's totally possible that she laughed so hard she almost peed and had to explain it to her bosses, who do NOT speak jennese and who didn't find it as funny...

Jenn said...

This is why Jennese should be a class.