Saturday, October 2, 2010

I am an Admitted Blog-Stalker

And not in the good way, like how all of you faithfully stalk me.

In the bad way, like those people who read your blog fanatically and never comment, or when they do it's anonymous (though, for the record I've never left an anonymous comment, I still have a little pride).

I stalk my sister Amara's blogs.

She has something like 4. Which I do too, so really I'm not judging.

See the deal is that I really do miss her. Even though I'd like to kick her in the shins and then punch her in the trachea, I miss her. But more importantly, I really miss her kids, my niece and my nephew. And so I blog-stalk her to find out about them.

I know that I shouldn't because most of the time it just upsets me, but I do it anyway.

What do you want??

I come by my martyrhood honestly.

So yesterday I went to check in on my niece, Clementine and see how she's doing.

And I found a post titled: "Do Unto to Others".

Really??

Do unto others. As in the Bible verse, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

You're shitting me.

This coming from the woman who barely speaks to her mother for no good reason, and never speaks to her sister, also for no good reason.

There's even a little thing in the post about how she's trying to model behavior for her children.

The delusions of others astound me. Really they do.

Maybe I should have been laughing, because really, the hypocritical are amusing. Plus there's the whole "someday it will all come back to bite her in the ass" thing. But mostly I was just hurt.

So, I started thinking (which is never a good sign) and I think that maybe I've been looking at Amara wrong. Instead of being angry with her for being a raging bitch, maybe I should look at the other angle.


And I've changed my mind. I want to be Amara.

Or at least I want some of her superpowers.

You know, like the one that lets you believe that you look HOT in daisy dukes when you weigh 200 lbs, or that you are a model of caring and consideration right after you've made your mother cry??

Or the one where one day you can decide you don't care about someone/something and then magically, you don't??

Yup. I want these.

My world would be fantabulous.

I would be the hottest thing ever. My husband would have a six-pack and my children would be angels. And then I could not give a rats ass about anyone who hurt me pissed me off.

AND a PT Cruiser would be the coolest car anyone could ever drive.

8 comments:

Copyboy said...

Well I'm a recent blog stalker. And after reading this post I really glad I am. Nice superpowers.

Christy said...

I feel sorry for her. Really I do. I can't imagine not having true love in my life and I don't mean just between significant others. I mean even with her kids and her siblings. That seems like a really sad existence.

I want you to stay just the way you are. I think you are just wonderful.

bluzdude said...

One of the powers that often goes with being an asshole is the complete obliviousness to that fact.

I often wonder about the blog stalkers. Sometimes I just want to scream at my monitor, "Who the hell reads my every single post from Plano TX and never EVER leaves a comment?"

Then I say, "Thank you for the hits, then go on about my day."

Kelly said...

I thought I had some doozies in my fam! Your sister dear has mine beat...barely though.

*HUGS* chickie, have a great weekend!!!!

vickilikesfrogs said...

Ah yes, family. You gotta love 'em. And I mean that in the most sarcastically way possible! Screw her, honey, you're awesome just the way you are and if she can't see it, then that says more about HER than it does about YOU.

Miley (woman:confused) said...

You know, as much as I've disliked your sister over the years, her obliviousness to everything has always confused me, especially since she will be the FIRST to point out if someone is upsetting her, even unintentionally.

I've always envied those superpowers of hers. Really, I have. I think it's awesome to be able to jump ship without a second thought.

Drake Sigar said...

No, the price is too high! To be as delusional as them you have to sacrifice everything that makes you, you.

Timoteo said...

Hell, I'll BUY you a six pack if that's all it takes!