Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Queen of the Guilt Trip, The Mistress of Manipulation

The grocery store.


Yeah, doesn't sound very threatening, does it.


But in my house, one trip to the grocery store is cause for an assload of tension and guilt trips.

Mom is supposed to take care of the grocery shopping, but she's a mediocre shopper at best.

She never looks to see what we need. And if I make a list, she doesn't look for it, or if she does, she leaves it at home.

Usually she comes home with chips and cookies, and maybe some fruit if I'm lucky.

But no meat. No onions. No rice or diced tomatoes. Nothing you would actually use to cook a meal.

The kids started back to school on Tuesday. And Mondays are supposed to be Family Nights when Bean's off. But Monday, I got home from work and she hadn't gone to the grocery store yet, because Tallulah didn't want to go and she was waiting for someone to get home.

It's now 4:30 and she's not looking like she's moving. The kids go to bed at 8:00.

Me: Ok.. so you're going to take Oliver?

Mom: Yes.

Me: Umm.. tonight is family dinner night, Mom.

Mom: So?

Me: So, we have nothing to make for dinner (because you haven't been to the grocery store in a month) and while we could go out, I would need Oliver for that. So are you going to go?

Mom: Jeez!! I didn't know I had to go before you got home!!

There was absolutely nothing to gain in pointing out that she didn't. But she couldn't take Oliver with her if she expected me to be pleased with her waiting.

Me: Why don't we just go this week?

Mom: I'm going!!

I can't win for losing.

See, my Mom may at times seem to be lazy, and she's often the sweetest woman you've ever met. But unless you have no heart, don't make the mistake of trying to do battle with her.

She's the Queen of the Guilt Trip, and the Mistress of Manipulation. Even though I know I'm being manipulated and guilt tipped, it doesn't matter. My mediocre will crumbles before the onslaught of the expressive sighs and multi-layered meanings.

I can't help it.

Bean asked me today if I want to move.

In some ways the answer to that is an enthusiastic

YES!!

But I can't. I'm tied. With the bonds of love.

And guilt.



header 150x150

10 comments:

Aunt Crazy said...

If you aren't going to move and grocery shopping isn't being done either at all or properly, you'll have to do it yourowndamnself.

Amy J - Book Addict said...

My mother must have took lessons from your mom because mine is the same way!

Miss Nikki said...

Moms around the world are masters at guilt tripping. It's what they do best! You're learning... You'll out-do her one day... I trust you... Good luck!

Marlene said...

I haven't grocery shopped all week. I rather like being taken out each day because there is nothing to make. Wonder how long I can pull this off?

Sara said...

No one plays that game quite like a family member.

My grandmother is brilliant.

I'm pretty sure if she had the upper body strength, she could stab me in the kidney and yet I would be the one apologizing while I lay dying in a pool of my own blood.

It's a gift, really.

Best Kept Secrets said...

I hate grocery shopping and eating out a lot. Im fine with peanut butter and jelly or whatever but the man isn't

Candance said...

The motherly guilt trip. God, it pisses me off. I just don't talk to mine much anymore because it's the same old shit every single time she gets on the phone. I can't deal with it-I have my own guilt trips to lay on my own kids.

Candance said...

The motherly guilt trip. God, it pisses me off. I just don't talk to mine much anymore because it's the same old shit every single time she gets on the phone. I can't deal with it-I have my own guilt trips to lay on my own kids.

KLZ said...

Peapod! Do you have Peapod. You can order what you want and for a $6 delivery fee, your mom just has to put the stuff away!

Liz said...

man, i'd just choose to eat out! problem solved! ha!