So tonight Bean decided that my plans of catching up on "The Vampire Diaries" were off and we were going to watch the Opening Ceremonies of the Winter Olympics. And so I thought:
Alright, that's cool, I like the Olympics, right??
Plus he's been working, and it's cold, and all I really cared about was sharing body heat.
Wow. The Opening Ceremonies are boring. So he started talking about some South Park something where they thought that Canada was secretly evil, but I disagree.
Me: I don't think that Canada has to be secretly evil, because nobody cares about Canada because it's so close to the United States and they're all busy hating us.
Me: I mean it's like Nepal, it could be like Utopia or something, and nobody would care because it's so close to China that nobody would care because everybody's all worried about China being all mean and bad and stuff.
Bean: Honey, some people really think Nepal, IS great.
Me: Well yeah, but I'm saying that it could only rain at night and be the perfect temperature and have no unemployment and no starving people and everybody could be all happy - and nobody on a GLOBAL scale would care because of China.
Me: I like this theory. We can call it the Canada/Nepal Theory.
Bean: You can call it the Canada/Nepal Theory. It's your theory.
Me: You mean you don't support me?!?!
Bean: I didn't say that, but it's your theory.
So then we were bored for a little bit longer and then somehow we got around to how it's snowing everywhere but Canada (where everyone is evil), so they had to make the snow. So I had this brilliant idea that if you can make snow, then WE can have the Winter Olympics in Houston. Bean didn't think I was brilliant.
Me: So if the evil Canadians can make snow, then so can we - WE should have the Winter Olympics here!!
Bean: That's never going to happen.
Me: Why not??
Bean: Because it has to be cold.
Me: It's freaking freezing outside!!
Bean: And there has to be snow.
Me: But we can make it.
Bean: And you have to petition to have the Olympics in your city and it costs money and then you have to build a stadium...
Me: But we have LOTS of stadiums, we can just use one of those.
Bean: Ok, then we have to petition the NFL or whoever to use their stadium.
Me: Well that's no problem, they'll say yes.
Bean: It will never happen.
Me: I haven't heard a single good reason yet.
Bean: There are no mountains. What are you going to do, give the hill country Viagra??
Me: No!! (what a ridiculous idea - I mean really..)
Me: We'll make them. I mean they just have to go down them, right??