Sunday, May 30, 2010

My New Defining Characteristic - Hypocrisy

So my kids play with playmobil, and while it's gorgeous and fun (and expensive), it's also a little fragile. I mean not in the "broken beyond repair" way, but in the "if you pick it up wrong, or touch it wrong, hell if you sneeze near it wrong, it will fall apart and you have to rebuild it and it's a pain in the ass" way.

Well, they're playing Playmobil with Leni and Morgan (because Tallulah was begging to get to play with the boys, so I gave her today, and Oliver yesterday and tomorrow) and Morgan decided to move Tallulah's mansion. Insert big boom and the bottom falling off of the house, and also the roof losing pieces.
So I went in to try to fix it, only Santa didn't explain to me how to fix it when he brought it over, he told Perry, and of course, they broke it 2 seconds after Perry left. Perfect.

After trying for 10 minutes, and getting all but one of the roof pieces on, I went to put up the last one and the whole roof snapped off. Perfecter.

So I did the only thing I could do. I ripped off the roof and stuffed it in a bucket to await Perry's pleasure. And then I bitched at all 4 kids about how we don't move the mansion (the roof also came off last time they came over).

Now is the part where I'm a giant hypocrite.

Not 5 minutes after I huffed out of there, Oliver huffed out and threw himself on the couch.

Me: What's wrong Oliver?

Oliver: I'm just not going to play with them.

Me: Why?

Oliver: Because Morgan keeps on making rules I don't like. And Tallulah keeps saying "that's mine". (all of this was delivered either in drippingly sarcastic tones, or when quoting to Tallulah, a high pitched mocking voice)

Me: Oliver, is it worth it to get upset over this?

Oliver: No. But they..

Me: Just answer the question.

Oliver: (squirms and starts pulling at his hair)

Me: Don't get pissy with me. Answer the question.

Oliver: No.

Me: (insert a brilliant explanation of how he's not really mad about the rules, or the "it's mines", he's mad because he has to play with the girls and share Morgan)

Oliver: But..

Me: (insert a heartfelt explanation of how if Ella and Leni came over but not Morgan he'd be sad and need extra attention too)

Oliver: But I wouldn't play with the girls, I'd just go in my room!!

Me: Ok.. go to your room, and calm down, and when you aren't mad about anything anymore and can be civil to other people, you can come out.

Oliver: (huge dramatic sigh)

See?? Look at me, all not being okay with Oliver pouting and throwing hissy fits, but I can break the roof of the playmobil and yell at small children when I get mad.

In my head it's because I'm the mom and I can get away with that shit. Or maybe because I very rarely REALLY throw something or totally lose it.

But if I was being completely honest with myself I would admit that it's really because I'm not capable of the control that I think he ought to have.

Just this once, I think we won't be honest.

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