2 Truths and a Lie

Tell me 2 truths and a lie and make me guess which is the lie. You've played this game before, so why not join The Scoop on Poop and CA Girl every Thursday by
1.Grabbing the handy little button on the sidebar
2.Posting your 2 truths and a lie
3.Link up
4.Reveal your lie the next week!

Last week I said:

1. The road trip that we're taking this weekend will be Bean's first with the kids.

Absolutely true. Bean and I have taken several road trips together, but never had the opportunity to take the kids.

2. Bean and I have been stuck in a car together for 18 hours straight and no blood was shed.

True. That's how far Colorado is from Houston, and we like to drive straight through.

3. I have been stuck in a car with the kids for 18 hours straight, and will never do it again.

Big fat lie. I've never been stuck in the car with the kids for more than 12 hours, and actually they were angels.


As for this week:

1. My sister is her own second cousin.

2. My sister is the first born, last born and only child all rolled into one.

3. I am a middle sister.

Take your guess and come back next week for the reveal!!

I'm Too Random for My Blog

It's a random kind of day and its Wednesday so I guess it works out well.

• I hate Tuesdays.
• Mostly because Oliver has fencing.
• Which he loves.
• But I don't.
• In fact I loathe it.
• Purely because practice is at 7:00. So I get to go home, relax and then I have to go out again.
• This Tuesday I was particularly pissed.
• Because I had a shittastic day at work
• And because Glee is back and I couldn't watch it.
• Oliver got a notebook taken away from him at school.
• By a teacher
• Because it had a skull and crossbones on the front
• A very cartoony skull and crossbones.
• Mommy's not pleased.
• Tallulah got "caught being good" at school
• So she's a "wise owl" now.
• She's thrilled.
• Sometimes I really don't understand her.
• She's so very perfect
• And that's something I've never been accused of.
• I just finished listening to the entire "Wheel of Time" series on audiobook
• While working.
• Because the next book is due out in November.
• But now I'm bored.
• I'm thinking about doing it again
• But I'm scared the new book will come out before I'm done.

Post-it Notes Tuesday

Poor Rowlf..

In case y'all don't remember, this is my baby:



His name is Rowlf and I am in love with his floppiness. I love that he frequently looks like a big throw rug. I also love his personality. He's so mellow it's unreal and I love it.

We've taken him to the groomers before and they did a good job, but they didn't really trim his face enough, so it grew back pretty quickly.

So I sent Bean to take him back and asked him to instruct them to trim his face a little better..

They did.



My big wonderful floppy dog has been turned into a fucking poodle. And yes, I realize that he's a goldendoodle and therefore is a poodle (or at least he's 75% a poodle), but if I'd wanted a fucking poodle, I would have bought a fucking poodle instead of an adorable floppy mop.

I'm so upset. I literally cried when Bean brought him home.

I guess it's good that he can see, but his Halloween costume is ruined.. He was going to be Chewbacca.

Fawk You Friday

It's been so long since I participated in Fawk You Friday, but I'm back!!!!!!

In case you've forgotten, I don't really fawk.. I fuck. So maybe this post is not for the easily offended (but then neither is my blog really..) sorry!!

Fuck you golf. Really. Fuck you. I didn't even play in the fucking work golf tournament, but I am sore and exhausted.

Fuck you scheduling people. I don't know who made the schedule, but scheduling a golf tournament on Monday and Wednesday when there is a major meeting on Tuesday was piss poor planning.

Fuck you laundry. I'm seriously considering burning all dirty laundry instead of washing it from now on.

Fuck you Cancer. You fucked my husband up, and for the record, I'm not okay with it.

And though I'm not feeling this yet, I will be by this afternoon so here's a preemptive -

Fuck you road trips with children. They should replace chinese water torture with you. Really.

Don't Forget!!

Fawk You Friday on Friday with Boobies, Babies and a Blog..

It's super fun and therapeutic.

Who a deserves a big ole finger from you this week??

2 Truths and a Lie

Tell me 2 truths and a lie and make me guess which is the lie. You've played this game before, so why not join The Scoop on Poop and CA Girl every Thursday by
1.Grabbing the handy little button on the sidebar
2.Posting your 2 truths and a lie
3.Link up
4.Reveal your lie the next week!

I didn't play last week, so I have nothing to reveal to you.. As for This week:

1. The road trip that we're taking this weekend will be Bean's first with the kids.

2. Bean and I have been stuck in a car together for 18 hours straight and no blood was shed.

3. I have been stuck in a car with the kids for 18 hours straight, and will never do it again.


Take your guess and come back next week for the reveal!!

Three Thousand Words

I don't really know what the deal is with Wordless Wednesday, but I'm beat and I finally got a card adapter, so I can post pictures I've been promising you guys..
And they say a picture's worth a thousand words, so here's three thousand.

(If you didn't read about the shower, you should go here. If you missed cake you should go here)

This is Aria - aka Mrs. Superman. I didn't actually promise y'all a picture of her, but here it is anyway.

This is what the tables looked like at the shower. My contributions were the teapots and mugs. Aria's just that crafty.

And there's my cake. Adorable, huh??

This is Me..

So now that Miley's all out of the closet and has actually posted a picture of herself, I was kindof thinking that there's not much point in me not - since anyone who's known me anytime in the last 15 years knows that Miley and I do everything together (I mean seriously - her son is like 2 weeks younger than Oliver and her daughter is just a teensy bit younger than Tallulah - and her divorce came about 6 months after mine. It's a little freaky sometimes).

So here you go.



This is quite possibly my favorite picture of myself (aside from my wedding pictures where I looked pretty damn hot). I'm not sure why, but it is. And I worked really hard to take it - like 15 poses in a row hard.

And now you know.

The Monster I Created

This year Oliver’s riding the bus home from school and there are a couple of scheduling issues that might cause him to be home alone for a few minutes every once in a blue moon.

So I bought him a cell phone.

Before you get all riled up about how a 10 year old doesn’t need a cell phone, let me tell you that we don’t have a house phone. So really he kind of does, and it does not go to school with him.

After I bought him this phone I put a few numbers into his contact list and told him in no uncertain terms that he is not allowed to call anyone else.

Everything was fine. I would get texts from him when he was in his room asking things like “Can I get a snack?” or “How are you?”. But for the most part he just answered it if it rang.



And then his cousin/best friend got a cell.



I can’t get him off of it.



They text from the minute he walks in the door until I bodily rip it from his clenched fist 30 minutes after bedtime.



Yesterday he took it in the bathroom with him.



I started to get upset and frustrated with him until I got up from where I was sitting to eat my dinner and grabbed my phone to take it with me to go take a shower.

Good Kids

On the day of the shower, when my world was all going to shit, while I was out and about, the kids decided to be helpful.

Mom and Bean shrugged it off.

So sweet that they want to help and surprise Mommy.

I know my kids better.

They wanted something.

But that's not the point.

The point is that they:

Cleaned the living room.

Vacuumed the dining room.

Cleaned to kitchen.

Did laundry.

However

They washed a huge load of their laundry with half a bottle of bleach.

Fortunately Bean jumped in and fixed it as much as he could, but I have no idea how he did. I think the conversations went like this:

Oliver: Bean, is the bleach supposed to smell that strong?

Bean: Umm... Why?

Oliver: Well we did laundry and the bleach smell is really strong.

At which point, Bean leapt out of wherever he was sitting for damage control.

And I do have to say that I admire my husband's self-control, because no yelling whatsoever happened here. No children were injured and no anger was vented.

The death toll was: 4 of Oliver's school shirts, 1 of Tallulah's play skirts.



And there will be housecleaning for the rest of the week if they want new Webkins.

PS - More Shower Stuff

By the way -

The shower was fantabulous, because me and Aria RAWK.

Though I still can't show you pictures, because my computer sucks ass.

Going to a Shower or Jenn Gets Bitchy

This post was originally for last week, but got scooted on down so I could do my Back to Blogging posts. Which were super fun.
If you haven't read about the cake, you might want to go here. If not, then just know, last Sunday, my friend Aria and I threw a baby shower for our good friend Cara.

I made the cake and it was delivered to my house on Saturday. And Aria and I had done some of the set-up on Thursday, so I really didn't have much to do Sunday.

Aria came and picked up the cake around 11:30 (because I would have had it through the windshield with my jerky standard driving action) and I was going to meet her there at 1:00.

At 12:15, Bean helped me load up the truck but Mom wasn't home, and she had the tea and sugar for our tea party shower in her trunk (which I am fully willing to admit I should have unloaded Saturday, but I was tired from cake makin').

So as I sat there fuming about my blown schedule, I looked down at my cute little sundress and I see that there's something all down one side - a sticky nasty something.

Fuck.

No problem, I'll change. Into sundress #2 I go.

The zipper broke 2 seconds after I got it on.

Double Fuck.

Into my closet to find something else to wear.

Black skirt doesn't fit. Gray skirt is dirty. No shirt for that skirt, and that dress is too short.

Khaki pants and a maroon top it is.

And it's 12:45, I should have left at 12:30 and Mom's still not home.

Triple Fuck.

I couldn't really tell you what exactly was said, but it involved Bean and possible overuse of "fuck" and ended up with him trying to understand why I needed tea when we had tea.

I didn't have time to explain so I called another friend Ophalia to see if she could come over and wait for Mom to mosey on home with the tea.

Again, I couldn't tell you actual words, but there was definite overuse of "fuck" and ended with her telling me she'd take care of it.

Good friend.

I got to the shower okay, apparantly being pissed helps me drive a stick better but I did share some of my misfortune when Aria broke a pitcher shortly after I arrived.

To Blog or Day 5 of Back to Blogging

Today is the last day for SITS and Back to Blogging because of which I will win Thelma and Louise - the washer and dryer from Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances

Today: What blogging means to me.

I blog so that I can be myself.

Everyone has a public side to them and a private side to them. Or at least they have a bit of censoring involved in their every day lives.

Obviously I can be myself all I want with Bean, and with a few of my friends. But for the most part everyone sees me as pretty sensible and for the most part normal. They don't know that I argue with myself talk to myself or that sometimes I have mild hallucinations or that I get crazy ass ideas stuck in my head.

So I love that here I can let loose everything.

2 Truths and a Lie - One Day Too Late

With all the excitement of Back to Blogging and my guest post over at Aunt Crazy's I didn't get a chance to post up my 2 Truths and a Lie, but I couldn't leave y'all hanging..

Last Week I told you:

1. I have 2 tattoos.

Very true. A "II" on my left inner wrist which serves many purposes:
It helps me tell my left from my right.
I am a Gemini.
I have 2 children.
And Bean is my second chance.

And a nickname that the best friend I ever had used to call me, "Bel" on my back (but not a true trampstamp). I got it shortly after his death when I was eighteen.

2. Bean has 2 tattoos.

Also true.
He has our last name on one arm and a scorpion on his other. And I do have to tell you that the man has elastic skin that any woman would pay good money for.. When he was in the hospital and blown up like the fucking Michelin Man I kept thinking how his tattoos were going to be unrecognizable.. but no, they're still the same.

3. We want to get a tattoo of each other's names.

Absolutely not - total and complete lie.
I love my husband and he loves me, but there will be no names tattoo'd on persons.

Oh My Giddy Aunt Crazy!!

Y’all are never going to believe this shit.

I am guest posting over at Aunt Crazy’s blog since she’s on hiatus and didn’t want me to call out the police again.



I feel like a rawk star. I’m also incredibly nervous.



So head on over there and check me out.

For Love of Maude or Back to Blogging Day 4

By now, you've got to know Thelma and Louise - the washer and dryer that will hopefully be brought to me by Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances because of the wonderful blog SITS and Back to Blogging.

Today: A new post about a woman who inspires me.

This is actually really hard, because I have alot of wonderful strong women in my world.

But if I have to pick just one, I'd have to go with Maude, my son's biological grandmother.

Maude is so special to me. Her son and I have not always gotten along very well, but she has made it a point to always make our relationship separate from that.

And even though she absolutely didn't have to, she treats my daughter like her granddaughter, so consequently, she is.

She's also the strongest woman I know.

She's been through hell and back many times over and she just keeps on. She may rage about it, or cry, but she never gives up.

Maude is one of the kindest and gentlest people I know, but she also doesn't take shit from anyone. And while she knows how to hold her tongue, if she cares about you then she doesn't - so I always know that she means what she says and says what she means.

I have never asked her for something that she hasn't come through on. There are not words to describe how much I love that woman. And other than my kids, I have no idea what she gets out of our relationship.

There could never be a higher compliment in my mind than to have someone tell me I'm like her.

Good Night This Title RAWK'd or Back to Blogging Day 3

Here's another view of Thelma and Louise - my new washer and dryer from Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances.

Ok, maybe they'll be my new washer and dryer. If I'm a good girl and do what SITS tells me with these post prompts.

Today: A post with a title I'm particularly proud of.

I actually love this post. Alot.

This really is how my world goes, and is almost a word for word recreation of an evening with Bean. It's from February 12, 2010.

And the title RAWK'd my socks off.

The Canada/Nepal Theory and The Winter Olympics or maybe The Things Bean and I Fight About

So tonight Bean decided that my plans of catching up on "The Vampire Diaries" were off and we were going to watch the Opening Ceremonies of the Winter Olympics. And so I thought:

Alright, that's cool, I like the Olympics, right??

Plus he's been working, and it's cold, and all I really cared about was sharing body heat.

Wow. The Opening Ceremonies are boring. So he started talking about some South Park something where they thought that Canada was secretly evil, but I disagree.

Me: I don't think that Canada has to be secretly evil, because nobody cares about Canada because it's so close to the United States and they're all busy hating us.

Bean: ??

Me: I mean it's like Nepal, it could be like Utopia or something, and nobody would care because it's so close to China that nobody would care because everybody's all worried about China being all mean and bad and stuff.

Bean: Honey, some people really think Nepal, IS great.

Me: Well yeah, but I'm saying that it could only rain at night and be the perfect temperature and have no unemployment and no starving people and everybody could be all happy - and nobody on a GLOBAL scale would care because of China.

Bean: Ok.....

Me: I like this theory. We can call it the Canada/Nepal Theory.

Bean: You can call it the Canada/Nepal Theory. It's your theory.

Me: You mean you don't support me?!?!

Bean: I didn't say that, but it's your theory.

So then we were bored for a little bit longer and then somehow we got around to how it's snowing everywhere but Canada (where everyone is evil), so they had to make the snow. So I had this brilliant idea that if you can make snow, then WE can have the Winter Olympics in Houston. Bean didn't think I was brilliant.

Me: So if the evil Canadians can make snow, then so can we - WE should have the Winter Olympics here!!

Bean: That's never going to happen.

Me: Why not??

Bean: Because it has to be cold.

Me: It's freaking freezing outside!!

Bean: And there has to be snow.

Me: But we can make it.

Bean: And you have to petition to have the Olympics in your city and it costs money and then you have to build a stadium...

Me: But we have LOTS of stadiums, we can just use one of those.

Bean: Ok, then we have to petition the NFL or whoever to use their stadium.

Me: Well that's no problem, they'll say yes.

Bean: It will never happen.

Me: I haven't heard a single good reason yet.

Bean: There are no mountains. What are you going to do, give the hill country Viagra??

Me: No!! (what a ridiculous idea - I mean really..)

Me: We'll make them. I mean they just have to go down them, right??

I Wish You'd Been There or Back to Blogging Day 2

Onto Day 2 of Back to Blogging..

Where I will win Thelma and Louise because I'm fantastic and Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances are all my facebook friends. And we all know that facebook friends are tight.

Anyway - The whole idea is brought to you by SITS and I'm loving these post prompts.

Today: A post I wish more people had read.

This one is from February 6, 2010:

I am totally going to die. You should absolutely not come have lunch with me or bring me flowers or visit me at work for any reason whatsoever. Really. Because someone left these really creepy barrels of something out in our parking lot.



I should now mention that our parking lot is right off a major freeway and so it's kind of a pain to get to so noone would think to themselves,


"Gee what a nifty place to store my creepy barrels!"


Oh, and we're also in just about the ghettoest place you can be in Houston without actually being in one of the wards and noone has stolen them, so they are too creepy even for the creeps.. Yeah.





Plus since all the really awesome people on the ship channel work in my building, it would be an fantastic terrorist target..


But I don't think that a terrorist put them there, I think that the creepy ex employee who came to work on his last day looking like he had a bomb strapped to his chest is the one who put them there..


He SAYS that it was a karate gui under his sweater, but I think he was just happy to see me..

Anyway.. I'm totally going to email these pictures to the over-achieving safety chic and tell her we have an F.B.I. and she should investigate it, and possibly call the other FBI, because those barrels could explode at any minute.


Mostly, I like this post because it's so very me to freak out about something like barrels. And I actually made a powerpoint presentation about these fishy barrels. Plus I like that I have actual pictures, which doesn't happen too often.

Back to Blogging

I found this on The Scoop on Poop.. And while I did actually have posts set up for this week, I'm scooting them on over and doing these, partially because they're cool, and partially because Thelma and Louise are fucking sweet and I want them.
See??


Gorgeous, huh?? All thanks to Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances. They need to be in my house, don't you think??

Anyway - It's this whole thing from SITS to help people who have been slacking in their blogging to get back in the game called Back to Blogging (yeah, I know, you probably already figured that out). It's excellent, and there's these post prompts, which I love.

Today - My first post ever:


My first post ever was on January 19, 2010, and I do have to say, it kindof sucked:

Once upon a time my father used to sing to me the song "Jennifer Juniper".

Jennifer Juniper rides a dappled mare

Jennifer Juniper lilacs in her hair

I've never heard anyone else sing the song to know if his version was the right tune, and to the best of my knowledge that's not even the chorus, but to a five year old little girl, having a song named after her is the best feeling in the world, and not one that the correct version could possibly better.

Now I know that the song was obviously not named after me.. But part of me still hums that little portion of it to my father's tune and smiles.. Perhaps I was named after the song.

See?? I'm WAY more entertaining now.

So, I'm loving that another option here was to rewrite my first post..

How about this??

Do you have any idea how many "Jennifers" there are?? Yeah, me neither. And growing up I had a last name only slightly less popular than "Smith".

But, my father (who I'm convinced had some kind of split-personality disorder since about half of the time he was sweet as all get out and half the time he made the devil look meek) used to sing me this song in a moderately horrible voice:

Jennifer Juniper rides a dappled mare

Jennifer Juniper lilacs in her hair

And when you're a little girl and your dad is singing you a song with your name in it, you really kind of believe that it's all about you.

But mostly, I'm "Jennifer Juniper" because I need a blog where I can let my crazy out - and where noone that I actually know can find me. And everybody knows that anybody who puts flowers in her hair is just a little bit crazy.

See?? Much better.

JJ & Yoda Make a Cake

Sunday me and my friend Aria (AKA Mrs. Superman) threw a shower for our good friend Cara.
First off let me tell you that Cara is the sweetest person ever and has been trying very hard to have a baby, so it had to be absolutely perfect.

So of course I went to Grandma Maude for the cake.

She made my wedding cake.



And also 10 and 6 years worth of perfect birthday cakes (including a 3D Pirate Ship that really was amazing).

This time she wanted to play with fondant, and she wanted me to help her.

I was actually really excited, because it kinda made me feel like I was going to work with Yoda. Only without the nasty ass swamp and and the X-Wing.

So Friday Bean & I packed up the kids and went over to Pa (AKA The Weiner Wrangler) and Maude's.

Maude and I rolled fondant, colored fondant and cut out polka dots in fondant. And while that doesn't really sound like alot of work, let me tell you - I was exhausted when we finally left at 11:00.

Maude and Pa were going to finish it all up for me, but Pa got tired, so Maud called me Saturday afternoon and asked if I could come over to help some more.

Obviously there was nothing I could say but yes, so I packed up the kids and headed back.

We rolled more fondant, and made a rainbow bow and put the fondant on the cake and then applied our bow and polka dots and I thought I was going to die.

We got it all done, and I'd post a picture but my computer is being a little bitch and won't let me. But it was adorable.

Fondant make look pretty, but its a bitch.

So Sorry..

I feel the need to apologize to you my bloggy friends.. I've been slacking big time, both on my writing and on my reading. But I'm working on it.. I promise!!

Thank God It's Friday and Stick Shifts Suck

Please excuse my typos today.. blogging from my phone sucks ass.

Even though it was a 4 day week, its been long, and I'm so glad its Friday.

So - because of a very long story we did a car swap with a friend of mine and she's got my Pt Cruiser (which is an automatic), and I was supposed to have Perry's car (also an automatic) and Perry was going to have Bean's truck (a standard) and Bean's been driving my friends sweet little sporty car (also a standard).

But Perry's a dickwhistle and kept complaining and wanting gas money and just being a whiny little bitch, even though I have let him have one of our cars during his numerous car repairs and helping out my friend (who I met while we were married and he likes) is good Christian helpfulness.

I got tired of listening to it and dealing with it.

So last Friday Perry was over with the kids and the truck and I decided to fuck it all and teach myself how to drive the truck.

Let me be clear though - I have attempted to learn to drive a stick shift twice. Once with Perry about 10 years ago, but he starting crying (almost literally) when I stalled and didn't shift perfectly after 2 minutes behind the wheel of his precious Corolla. And once with Bean about a year ago, but it was in a moderately full and small parking lot and it made me nervous.
I've known the theory for a good 15 years from my bitchy cousin Mia's super awesome husband. He drove an old Beetle and let me shift and all that good stuff. Mr. Mia's cool. Especially when you're 15 and he's kinda hot.


Anyway, so I plopped my ass in the truck and stalled five times before I managed to move took off. I will say that I look hot in a truck, but not so much when I'm spluttering down the road.

The whole weekend I drove around with the kids in the "backseat" screaming "We're gonna die!!" - which we were not in any danger of at the time. However this week driving it in rush hour traffic I kinda was. Every other morning in my PT there are no broke down vehicles in the middle of the freeway or stop and go bullshit. But now that I can't stop without stalling, EVERY SINGLE MORNING there's been something. Its like Murphys Law or something.

And I almost always kill it coming into our fucked up parking lot that of course has a driveway that's on an incline.

AND that's not even mentioning my performance anxiety whenever there's anyone behind me at a light or a stop sign.. that's good for at least 3 stalls - more if the douchecanoe's up my ass.

I get my gorgeous baby back next week, and I can't wait.

2 Truths and a Lie

Tell me 2 truths and a lie and make me guess which is the lie. You've played this game before, so why not join The Scoop on Poop and CA Girl every Thursday by
1.Grabbing the handy little button on the sidebar
2.Posting your 2 truths and a lie
3.Link up
4.Reveal your lie the next week!

Last week..

1. I have told my current boss that I can't stand him. To his face. True. But he thought I was joking.

2. I once had a boss stab me in the hand with a needle. True. He was an endodontist and whenever I wasn't assisting him properly he would stab me in the hand with an irrigating syringe.

3. I have slept with a boss before. Big Fat Lie. I've never really had a boss that was worthy. I do however, sleep with a co-worker whenever I can.

This week:

1. I have 2 tattoos.

2. Bean has 2 tattoos.

3. We want to get a tattoo of each other's names.


Take your guess and come back next week for the reveal!!

PS - Miss Nikki - I love your guesses and you can be my friend no matter what.

JJ Goes to BFE

Saturday was Hero's daughter, Cassidy's birthday party.

Normally I don't go to Hero's house, because she lives in BFE (that's Butt-Fuck Egypt in case you didn't know). But since I'm hoping this is the last year she'll live there I decided to go.

So I gathered up my stuff and took off at 9 am.

I made a pit-stop in Conroe to give Connie back the phone charger that she'd left at my house a few weeks ago.

We met up at Target and she only had 2 out of her 3 kids, one, Leni, who is the same age as Cassidy. So I decided to steal her for the day.

We had a blast.

I loved hanging out with Leni. She hasn't spent as much time with me as her older siblings, so it was just nice to be with her.

She cracked me up - I was listening to a book on my MP3 player and she was in the back seat commenting on it all the way up there. And when we got back in the car to go home, she told me to put it back on.


Anyway, so I borrowed my kid from Target and took off. This place was like an hour off of the freeway in BFE. I had almost no cell reception, and had to drive 30 minutes away to find a Sonic (though, to be fair I think they have a Sonic in town, I just didn't know how to get there). They do have a Walmart, and a Bealls (that's pronounced "Bells" just so you know), but I think the nearest Target is like an hour away.

But I did snag this picture.

That's Hero, taking her turn at the pinata. And yes, it's Spiderman, for a little girl's fourth birthday.

Post it Notes Tuesday

2 Truths and a Lie

Tell me 2 truths and a lie and make me guess which is the lie. You've played this game before, so why not join The Scoop on Poop and CA Girl every Thursday by
1.Grabbing the handy little button on the sidebar
2.Posting your 2 truths and a lie
3.Link up
4.Reveal your lie the next week!

I didn't play last week because I was brain-fried, so I have nothing to reveal..

This week:

1. I have told my current boss that I can't stand him. To his face.

2. I once had a boss stab me in the hand with a needle.

3. I have slept with a boss before.


Take your guess and come back next week for the reveal!!

Miss Nikki Loves Me!!!!!

Miss Nikki (who I LOVE) gave me this super cute award.

As always, there's rules involved:

1. Thank the person who gave this award to you.
2. Copy the award and put it on your blog.
3. List three things you love about yourself.
4. Post a picture you love.

Thank you Miss Nikki!! You're the bees knees!!

3 Things I love about me:

1. I'm honest with myself. As in brutally. I know that my ass looks fat in these jeans. Really I do. And I tell myself the truth, even if I don't like it.

2. My hair. It's a pain a lot of times and doesn't always look great, but for the most part it will do anything I want it to.

3. I'm an awesome friend. No conceit intended, but I go out on limbs for my friends and happily inconvenience myself for them (ok, sometimes not happily, but I do it and usually without showing them how pissy I am about it).

A picture I love....

This is hard because of my whole not posting pictures of the fam thing..



I am not in this picture.. But that's Bean doing the twist at a wedding right about the time we first met.

I love this picture because it helps me remember how he was before his body betrayed him. And of course I miss that, but it's not what makes him who he is.

Plus, he looks hot.


There's no rule about passing it on.. So if you want it, grab it. You guys are all worthy.

I'm Too Random For My Blog

Holy shit it's been all crazy!!

I have no coherent sentences for you, so I'm going to cheat and use bullets. Because I can, and I'm a secretary, so I love bullets.

• This migraine will not quit. I don't even know what day I'm on anymore.
• I'm not hallucinating yet, though, so that's good.
• I have found (completely by accident) that jack & vicodin are an excellent combination.
• But I'm not an addict.
• And now I have K's Choice in my head.
• Fuck.
• I broke my ex-husband's car.
• It was totally fun.
• It also wasn't my fault, in case you were wondering.
• I still kindof hate people.
• Especially certain people.
• I'm not telling you who.
• Bean I can control my inner monologue.
• It's almost time for my follow-up with Dr. No Personality.
• I may yell at him.
• He'll probably want to give me more drugs.
• But not the kind I need.
• Tallulah got moved out of her original class and put into the smart kid class.
• Because she's smart.
• Her original teacher was bummed.
• Because Tallulah's an angel for everyone who is not me.
• And also because I give great teacher bribes gifts.
• Oliver convinced me to buy him a fedora and some truly hideous fake glasses.
• Oddly enough they kind of work for him.
• He also brought home a fundraiser packet.
• Less than a week after the first day of school.
• I hate Fundraisers.
• With a fiery and intense passion.