Thursday, July 15, 2010

Vacation Part 3 - Going A-Visiting or Just Shoot Me Now

So we made it to Switzerland Colorado and the visiting was on.

Most of Bean’s friends and family are awesome, and I love them and was totally ok with going on the rounds to see everyone. Except that Bean wanted to visit Cousin Firefighter.

Now, I like Cousin Firefighter, but Mrs. Firefighter is another story entirely.

When she talks, she sounds like a bitchy five year old.

And I’m not really sure how she uses her left hand, since her rock is so big she shouldn’t be able to lift it – but she does, and also manages to flash it to great effect.

They live in a 9 bedroom house that’s about 3 times the size of my house (and my house is pretty big) and loves nothing more than to show it off with a moderately pitying expression because obviously you couldn’t afford such a wonderful home.

Two hours. That’s how long we spent there. Two fucking hours of listening to how perfect her kids are and how lovely the new house is and how hard it is for her to get motivated to do anything and on and on and on.

I wanted to either hit her or shoot myself. By the end of the evening I had no preference.


Miss Nikki said...

I always love feeding these people and telling them how incredibly wonderful they are. I go on and on to a point where they start to wonder if I'm sarcastic, or flippant, or just too nice. Then they do what I enjoy most: avoid me. How's the new no-eyed puppy btw?

Christy said...

I vote for shooting her. Problem solved. I have a sister-in-law like that.

Jennifer Juniper said...

I may have to try that next time. (Either idea really - fucking with her head or shooting her).
@ Miss Nikki - Rowlf is good except that Tallulah just got her wiener dog - Harriet and he's scared of her ferocious 2 lbs self.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Throat punch her and tell her to suck a fart out of your ass !!

Christy said...

LOLOLOL!!! Holly!!!

Jennifer Juniper said...

LMAO!! I love you Holly.