Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Voices in My Head

I've mentioned before how I like to talk to myself..

Well, recently, Bean's been working alot, and I've been feeling chatty, so I've been talking to myself enough to give my voices names*.

It's sad, but true.

So far there are only two - Joe and Bonnie.

Joe is the kindof guy who has a girl for a best friend. In fact, his voice sounds oddly like my best friend, Superman. He tells me to stop being girly and analyzes all of Bean's actions when I need him to. He's awesome, and I don't really mind sharing noggin' space with him, expecially since Superman's all busy being a newlywed and stuff.

But Bonnie is annoying as fuck. That girl whines about everything!! She bitches when Bean hasn't texted us recently and she cries hysterically when he doesn't call us twice from work.
She's constantly worried that Bean's going to leave us. She tries to find meaning out of the tiniest little comments. And she's forever moaning about our weight.
The bitch needs therapy, or some cheese or both.

It's a good thing Joe's there to tell her to shut the fuck up.

So the other night I was bitching telling Bean how I missed him while he was at work because I didn't have anyone to talk to.

Me: But I have shit I NEED to say!!

Bean: Is everything ok?

Me: Oh yeah.

Bean: Then why can't it wait until tomorrow?

Me: Because I want to talk. It's ok, I'll just tell Joe.


Me: Nevermind.

I did eventually tell him about Joe, and he didn't really comment (I'm not really sure why), probably because it was early, and I'm a little evil delicate in the mornings.

But we did touch on it another day.

Me: I'm a good wife.

Bean: You had doubts?!?

Me: Not really, but Joe just confirmed it.

Bean: You love Joe more than me.

Sounds like Bonnie has another victim..

*No worries. We don't actually have split personality disorder. We think.

Also, don't forget Fawk You Friday tomorrow.. I finally get to play!!

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Christy said...

I am so HAPPY, ECSTATIC, AND OVERJOYED that you will be playing tomorrow!

Jennifer Juniper said...

I am too!! I've got my post all ready & everything!!

woman:confused said...

I don't like Joe's voice, I don't think. Or him for that matter b/c really, he shouldn't be squashing Bonnie's needs.
Just sayin.

meg said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one with this problem.

lucy and sarah said...

So creative. I just had to smile.

ivy's closet said...

Such a cool post. Great about the voices, too.

Jennifer Juniper said...

Absolutely not, Meg. I'm convinced that the issue is not that I'm weird, its that I'm totally normal, just more honest than most.

Jennifer Juniper said...

Miley - you haven't heard Bonnie's voice. Its annoying as hell and needs to be squashed.

Best Kept Secrets said...

haha. I totally make up convos too. It's totally normal. Sometimes, yourself is the only intelligent person around worth talking to. I find that's the way it is at work all the time.

Jennifer Juniper said...

Your work sounds like mine, there is no intelligence whatsoever going on there.

Miss Nikki said...

Bonnie's been with me for a while... hope you don't miss her too much.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Joe sounds like Yoda.. very very wise.

Jennifer Juniper said...

Miss Nikki - you can HAVE Bonnie, I don't want her.
Holly - Joe is very wise. He totally balances my lack of impulse control.

Candance said...

Sounds like Bonnie's been making the rounds, cause she's been here, too. She may be here right now cause I'm awake and wondering why I don't have a sweet text from NJ this morning and if it's because that bitch is texting him and now he'd lying to me because he knows I'll go after her. I'm going back to bed. Bonnie is not invited to sleep with me.