Saturday, July 17, 2010

Vacation Part 6 - Bean’s Bossy and a Cigarette Thief

By the time we got home from the airport, I was really starting to contemplate whether childbirth was worse than the pain I was experiencing.

It was a really weird pain – kind of like I was seriously hungry.

I don’t really like hospitals, and thought that laying in my bed with a heating pad was the best idea ever, but Bean started making threats like – “If you don’t feel better soon, I’m taking you to the Emergency Room”.

That sounds like fun, right??

Anyway – I got to sleep with my heating pad. But in the morning, I did NOT feel like going to work.

So Bean got all bossy and made me go to the ER.

We were there for hours. Not in the waiting room – we got into an room right away, but it took most of the day where I was tortured tested before I got admitted.

They weren’t really sure what the deal was, because I have an IUD and you know, since it’s there obviously it could be a problem.

I spent 2 days laying in a bed waiting for a gynecologist to come in and consult because of that.

Though I did get A LOT of action while in the hospital. Three different people felt me up, and not one of them was my husband. I'm such a hussy.

The real problem was that I brought cigarettes, and the nurse said they couldn’t let me go smoke because it’s a non-smoking campus.

Whatever. As soon as they’d let me up to walk, I was finding somewhere to smoke.

Except that Bean took my fucking cigarettes with him to work.

So the next day I made him leave me some, and I got to smoke.

But on the third day he took my fucking lighter!!

Really?? Once, is an accident. Twice is not. I’m taking notes buddy. Just remember that you’re having surgery in January. Maybe you’re smokes will magically disappear.

6 comments:

Christy said...

Vengeance can be rewarding.

bluzdude said...

It's funny how they want you to "rest" in the hospital, but come in and wake you up every 15 minutes to take your BP or prod you in some other demeaning way...

Jennifer Juniper said...

Oh yeah. The best one was when the gynecologist came in & did a pelvic exam while Bean was asleep on the couch.

Miss Nikki said...

"Wake up! Wake up! It's time for your sleeping pill!" That's my fave, I know it's cliché but still awesome... And Bean sleeping during the pelvic exam, ya right, are you sure he didn't take a peaksie?

Miss Nikki said...

"Wake up! It's time for your sleeping pill!" That's my fave, I know it's cliché but still awesome... And Bean sleeping during the pelvic exam, ya right, are you sure he didn't take a peaksie?

woman:confused said...

hehe, am I allowed to steal Bean's lighter? I know I can't wake him up b/c it seems like he sleeps like a horse on tranqs but I would like to be the one to steal his cigs or lighter. And since he probably won't be walking after his surgery, you could always feign incompetence with pushing the wheelchair... for like an hour.
Tell Bean I love him... but he must pay.