Do We Have a Case of the Mondays??

Today is very Monday, and I’m exhausted. I want to sleep at my desk, but I can’t because my boss hates me.

So I’ve been considering jumping off the balcony because that would be good for at least 2 days off, and if I broke every bone in my body then the bigger children adults that live with me might be forced to actually work. It’s a novel concept.

I even almost called Miley to ask her if this was a good plan, but then I remembered that she sucks and she’s taking a stupid wonderful vacation with her children and her amazingly hot just-a-friend, so she probably doesn’t want to be bothered.

So I just imagined the conversation, because really anyone else I asked about this would probably try to lock me up and that’s no good.

In my imagined conversation, Miley told me that I was fucking nuts and explained how much broken bones hurt (because with the exception of a little toe, I actually wouldn’t know), and then she told me how I would really have to miss more than 2 days of work, because if I broke any bones used for walking I’d be screwed with my not-handicap-accessible work place.

My imaginary self only heard the part about missing more than 2 days, and thought that would be fucking awesome.

Imaginary Miley then pointed out how I don’t have enough sick or vacation time to cover all of that, so I’d be poor.

Damn you logical imaginary person.