Thursday, August 5, 2010

I Might be a Stalker.. Sorta

Ok, so I really hope that you guys are reading what I mean, not necessarily what I write, because otherwise I should just re-title this post:

“JJ’s a Psycho Stalker Beware!!”

I was reading Aunt Crazy’s post the other day about how she had to break up with her boyfriend and I realized that she is from somewhere in the vicinity of Houston.

Now for those of you not from Houston, that means that you live just about anywhere within a two hour driving distance from Houston and Houston is about an hour to an hour and a half drive across, so it means nothing. And my rational mind totally knows this.

But my not rational mind started screaming:

Oh my giddy AUNT!!!!!! Aunt Crazy lives close to me!!!!!!! I am SO cool by association!!!!! The Bloggess AND Aunt Crazy live in MY city!!!!! It has to be the COOLEST city EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And when I was done screaming about that I made my way over to Crazy Texas Mommy to see what she was up to.

And Holy Shit.

She’s coming to Houston to hang out with Aunt Crazy (because she is awesome enough to do that you know).

I thought my head was going to explode.

And I started feeling kind of like a celebrity stalker.

Only not in the “I’m-going-to-camp-outside-your-hotel-and-take-pictures-of-a-random-window-and-claim-its-yours” kind of way, but in the “Fucking-A-I’m-going-to-be-in-the-same-city-as-the-coolest-people-ever” kind of way.

And it started making me want to accost people on the street and tell them to stop littering and pull up their pants, because Aunt Crazy and Crazy Texas Mommy might see them, and they should look their best for Aunt Crazy and Crazy Texas Mommy!! But then I really started thinking about it, and decided I would be doing my bloggy friends a disservice, because Houston has a lot of really blog worthy stuff – like idiots with their pants around their ankles, and if I go around fixing it all, then that’s not fair, I wouldn’t want to deprive them of good blog material, so I’ll just leave everything alone, because I’m nice like that.

So yeah, I’m excited.

But, for the record, Candance and Aunt Crazy, I’m a total wimp in person, so even if I did recognize you on the street, there might be a little whispering to Bean (but no pointing, because that’s rude), and I might swoon, but that’s about it. I’m way too chicken shit to actually walk up and bother someone. So you can safely have a blast in my city with no worries about any crazies on the corner.*

*Ok, maybe not, because there’s a lot of crazies on the corner here, but none of them will be me, I promise.


Candance said...

Chick, you're a nut!! I love this post!! I didn't even know you lived near Houston and, if you ever recognized me on the street, you better come over and say hi and junk! Seriously!!

Thanks for saying I'm cool. And, next trip I make to Houston that is for more than 24 hours, we'll hang out with you, too. Okay?

You're so damn funny!! I heart you!!

The Bipolar Diva said...

This is great! Ok, I wanna see some paparazzi type pics!

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Must have pictures!! Get ur butt out there and stalk on!

Aunt Crazy said...

I need to know in which area of Houston you me chicka!!!

Aunt Crazy said...

p.s. OMG are you seriously talking about ME??? How awesome that I have a stalker...I was stalking Candance until she gave me her number, now I text stalk her all the time...bwahahaha

Sarah R said...

LOL! Awesome!

Best Kept Secrets said...

haha. That's so cool. I don't know any bloggers near me.

woman:confused said...

OMG, I thought I commented!
Aunt Crazy, we are going to get together and stalk you AT THE SAME TIME.
That's mostly b/c she gets lost if she drives to other parts of town and so do I, but she can TELL me how to get unlost if I'm driving.

The Bipolar Diva said...

Think I need to find a reason to come to Houston.