Monday, August 16, 2010

I've Been Ate Up and Spit Out

My plans for this weekend were simple.

Friday - Catch up with Bean, who I had not seen for a week (because Ms. Man decided that she was going to call in sick after being on vacation for 8 days. I'm sure that she really did injure her back, in the same way that I'm sure someone who can party as hard as she says she does AND can handle very large pitbulls like she actually does is really entitled to military disability.. Whatever.)

Saturday - Head on over to #2's house for Hero's graduation party around noon to take care of all the arrangements. (Because I was hosting it there, since their house was more central, not because #2 & Mrs. #2 are incompetent.) Bean and the kids would join me about five and we'd leave around eleven after helping clean-up.

Sunday - Do a thorough cleaning of Oliver and Tallulah's rooms in preparation for Summer.

See. Simple. Uncomplicated.

Here's what actually happened.

Friday, Mom graciously took the kids off our hands.

So far, so good.

So we went to pick up Bean's truck (yay!! no more car sharing!!) then decided to get the groceries for Hero's party.

After that, we more or less came home and went to bed, being the old people that we are.

I did get to spend time with Bean, but I was envisioning a quiet dinner.

Beggers can't be choosers.

Saturday, the party went more or less as planned and everyone had a good time. Except that Tallulah was a monster.

She kept trying to pull:

He hit me back!!!!!!!!!!!


But I only pinched him once!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah.. sorry. You can't pull off a tattle if you have to tattle on yourself for the story to make sense.

But when we got home, we found that the dogs had chewed through a 6 x 6 square piece of the carpet where we keep them penned in the dining room.

Fuck me.

We have every intention of replacing all the carpet in the front of the house with tile. And are even in the process of a refinance to do that, but I'm not ready!!

Sunday morning after I got the dogs all outside (because I didn't clean that shit up when we got home at 1 AM), I got a closer look at it, and there was tile underneath.

So guess what we did Sunday??

Because even kindof odd forest green linoleum looks better than holey shit stained carpet. And it certainly smells better.

Now if I can only figure out how to get the fucking glue up.

Because of the holey carpet I only got Tallulah's room done on Sunday. She's neater than Oliver, and really it was just a matter of tossing out some of the stuff she neatly hoards.

Today after work I tackled The Beast.

This is just what was under Oliver's bed, after he cleaned it.

Tomorrow's trash day (thank God) and there are about 10 big black trash bags out there mostly full of crap from the kids rooms.

And I am now sore everywhere.


woman:confused said...

you know... after stopping by, I really think that the glue on the linoleum adds character. I mean, come on... it's an interesting shade AND in an interesting design!
PLUS, you could just say that you meant it like that. Come on, woman! Live in the modern age!

OK, no really.. I'll help you with the glue thing. Or taking up the linoleum. It's really easier than you think.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

A DIY link for removing glue - hope it works.

Best Kept Secrets said...

Wow. Weekends are supposed to be relaxing and hardly are. My parents had this ugly shag carpets forever and they finally pulled it up and it under it was gorgeous hard wood. Good luck getting the glue off!

Candance said...

I got nothing on the glue and it would appear Oliver and Grace have the same method of "cleaning" their room. I once found a pie pan under her bed and, in that moment, I really wanted to hit her. Hard. So I just walked away.

Sara said...

By the end of that weekend, I think I would've punted a gerbil.

Or something equally small and cute.

Kristy said...

Cleaning your room means cleaning under the bed too??

I want to come see the new floor - - let us know if there is anything you need. Sorry I didn't make it in time the other night. I had just put chicken in the oven when you called.

Cecelia Winesap said...

Good for you. I thought cleaning rooms meant shoving everything under the bed. :)

Miss Nikki said...

3M makes a product called 3M (something) remover. I'll run down later and get the name but it does wonders on all sorts of glueish icky stuff that doesn't wanna come out. How helpful is THAT? :o)

Marlene said...

I don't even wanna see what's lurking under my 19 year old's bed. She's a pig.

Miss Nikki said...

Hey, check out this link:

This is the shit man! I've removed so much stuff with it. At worst just use it on your ex, maybe it'll wipe him out of your life! :o) Use a teflon spatula to scrape it off so you don't scratch the linoleum. Let the stuff soak with rags longer if it's too resistant.

Have fun!